


Fall to Pieces

by suemarysue



Series: Snapshots [8]
Category: Captain Marvel (2019), Marvel Cinematic Universe
Genre: Angst, Avengers: Endgame (Movie), But there's also a lot of fluff, F/F, Fluff, Fluff and Angst, Post-Avengers: Endgame (Movie), Post-Captain Marvel (2019), Post-Endgame, This Is Sad
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-04-19
Updated: 2020-06-14
Packaged: 2021-03-02 02:55:01
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 4
Words: 22,596
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/23727922
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/suemarysue/pseuds/suemarysue
Summary: Carol loses everything in the Snap. What happens when everyone returns?
Relationships: Carol Danvers & James "Rhodey" Rhodes, Carol Danvers & Maria Rambeau & Monica Rambeau, Carol Danvers & Natasha Romanov, Carol Danvers/Maria Rambeau
Series: Snapshots [8]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1467181
Comments: 60
Kudos: 161





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> I held off on posting this for a bit because it's sad and not my usual stuff, but here it goes.

_“Maria, wake up. Wake up.” Carol gently shakes Maria._

_“What? Huh? What happened?”_

_“We fell asleep,” Carol says. “Again.”_

_“No, I’m good. I was awake.”_

_“Oh, really? Then what happened in the last episode?”_

_“The boy … got pushed out the window.”_

_“That was the first episode! Which we watched yesterday, on our third try.”_

_Maria sighs._

_“See? We fell asleep. I think this show is not for us. And we’re too old to watch so late at night.”_

_“Speak for yourself.”_

_Monica’s been trying to get them to watch Game of Thrones, and … it hasn’t been going well._

_“How long were we asleep?” Maria asks._

_“We started on Episode 2 and it’s on Episode 9 now. We slept all night.”_

_Suddenly Carol starts laughing._

_“What’s so funny?”_

_She pulls out her iPhone and points it at Maria. “I just noticed your hair. I have to email a picture to Monica.”_

_“My hair? I wasn’t ready to fall asleep! You should see your hair!”_

_They both have terrible hair._

_“Don’t you dare, Danvers.”_

_Carol smirks. “Try to stop me.”_

_They wrestle on the bed for the phone, until Carol finally snaps a selfie of both of them, their hair now even worse, sticking her tongue out in it for good measure. She holds the phone away from Maria and quickly types. “Sent!”_

_“Nooo!”_

_Carol kisses Maria, stands up, and goes to the bathroom on their small ship._

_“Where do you think you’re going? Come back to bed.”_

_“It’s morning. And we have a busy day today.” She starts brushing her teeth._

_Her phone buzzes on the bed._

_“Is that Monica? What’d she say?”_

_“One word. Dorks.”_

* * *

** Year 1 **

It’s a month later and Carol is sitting on a different bed, in a much bigger room, staring at the photo on her phone.

“Let me buy you a drink? There’s a bar a few minutes away.”

Carol pockets the phone, but doesn’t look up. “Isn’t there plenty to drink here?”

“Yeah,” Rhodey says, “but then we’d be here.”

She looks at him, standing in the doorway to the room she’s been staying in. She’d thought no one else was there and, stupidly, left the door open. “You’re buying?”

“Yep.”

“I don’t drink alcohol.”

“We’ll go to a coffee shop, then.”

It’s been four days since they found out that Thanos had destroyed the stones, four days since they found out there was nothing they could do to bring everyone back. Carol wanted to leave, but Rogers and Romanoff asked her to stay for a bit, so they could figure a way for them to all communicate when Carol was in deep space. Clearly, the pager was an outdated and too slow way to reach her. She showed them the way she set her phone up so that she could communicate with someone on Earth. She hadn’t told them who, and no one had asked. They were working on recreating it.

She hates it here. She stays in the room they gave her as much as she can, doesn’t really talk to anyone. 

She’d hate it in space, too, she knows. At least a coffee shop was neither of those places.

“I’m not going to sleep with you.”

“I don’t want to sleep with you.”

“I only like women.”

“Great, me too. Also, you’re married.”

Carol stands up. “Let’s go.”

The coffee shop was probably once a livelier place, but now it, like the rest of the universe, is just sad.

“Look,” Rhodey says once they’re sitting down, “I’m sorry I was a dick.”

“I’ve heard worse.”

“Thank you for saving Tony.”

Carol nods.

“You want to talk about who you lost?”

“I’m here because of Fury.”

“Sure, and he’s an OK guy, but I don’t think it’s a picture of him you’re always staring at on your phone.”

In truth, she is still furious with Fury. She’d told him to keep the Tesseract safe, and instead he made weapons with it. She wanted to end wars and he’d handed it over to people who would start wars with it. He’d paged her, after waiting too long, when aliens invaded New York. By the time she got there, the crisis had already been averted, and they’d had a huge fight. He hadn’t contacted her again until now.

They drink silently for a bit. The coffee is not great, but at least they’re out of that building.

Carol keeps telling herself that she doesn’t want to talk, but eventually, her curiosity wins out. “How’d you know I’m married?”

“The other day, when you came into the kitchen for coffee, your necklace was outside of your shirt. Two wedding bands.”

It’s not a necklace. It’s Maria’s dog tags, which she’s worn for a long time, with their two rings on it. Carol resists the urge to touch it under her shirt.

He points to her right hand. “And you’ve got that on the other hand and facing the other way, but I can tell that’s an engagement ring.”

Carol does touch that ring now, the one she worked so hard to get, turning it around so the stones are facing out. A few years ago, Maria accidentally scratched her face while she was sleeping, so she took her rings off when she went to bed. Carol was grateful she did, so that she could wear them now. Everything on a person seemed to disappear into dust with the Snap.

“The woman who gave it to you,” Rhodey says, “she get dusted?”

Carol doesn’t respond.

“You don’t have to talk about it, if you don’t want to. Especially not to me. But,” he says, carefully, “sometimes talking about things helps.”

“I gave it to her, to Maria,” Carol finally says, her voice low. “And yes.”

Carol’s not sure why she tells him. She thought she hadn’t wanted to tell anyone. Maybe because he’s the first person to actually ask her what she lost, not just what she can do?

“We were asleep. At least I hope we were both asleep. I woke up covered in dust.” In their bed, on her clothes, on her face, in her hair, in her mouth.

“Jesus,” Rhodey says.

Literally asleep while the universe fell apart.

“Our daughter, too. Monica. She was here, on Earth. She was on a plane.”

Rhodey raises his eyebrows and Carol shakes her head.

“No, not one of those ones that crashed. She was there when it took off. Not when it landed. I couldn’t even figure out where she was at first.”

“That’s rough. I’m sorry.”

And Talos. And Soren. And Wulin. And almost everyone she knows. 

Carol shrugs. “How about you?”

“There’s a woman, Julia. We hadn’t been dating long, but…” He trails off. “Can I see pictures … please?”

Carol pulls the phone out of her pocket. She clicks to an album she’s made of her absolute favorites and slides it across the table. It’s about two dozen photos, from throughout the years, going all the way back to before Monica was born. The most recent her silly selfie with Maria. Carol loved that photo, even before it became their last photo together.

He laughs when he gets to that one, the last in the album.

“I’m not supposed to show that one to anyone else. She’d be so mad at me.”

“I saw nothing.” He hands the phone back to her. “Beautiful family.”

Carol stares at the photo for a moment. “Thanks.” She puts the phone back in her pocket.“You got pictures of her?”

Rhodey hands her his phone, a photo of them hiking together.

“She’s pretty."

“If you want to talk about them, you can.”

“Thanks,” Carol says, surprised that she actually does mean it. “Maybe not today.”

“I understand.”

“You too.”

“Thanks. Maybe not today.”

“Yeah.”

Carol’s phone rings the next day. She considers not answering it—you’d be surprised at how many telemarketers could still get through to her—but for some reason, she decides to pick it up. Literally everyone she knows has been snapped or is in this building with her, but it can’t hurt to answer she figures.

“Mrs. Rambeau? Hi, this is Jennifer, Eugene’s mother. Monica’s boyfriend?”

Monica had been dating a guy for a little while, but Carol hadn’t met him yet. Maria had at least talked to him on a video chat, and liked him, but introducing him to Carol, who looks younger than Monica at this point, was a whole different thing. She hadn’t met any of Monica’s boyfriends since high school. She hadn’t been serious enough with anyone to warrant the discussion.

Eugene and Monica had been together on the plane when the Snap happened.

“Hi, it’s just Carol. Carol’s fine.”

“Hi, Carol. I’m so sorry to bother you. I know you must be so busy.”

Monica told people that she and Maria worked for the government, for the State Department, and were always stationed overseas.

“No, it’s fine. I can talk.”

“I just … Hugh and I just wanted to see how you and Maria are doing? I went through Eugene’s things and found your numbers on his computer.”

“Maria … I … I haven’t … reported her missing.”

“Oh my God. Carol, oh God. I’m so sorry.”

“It’s OK. It’s OK.”

“I’m sorry this is how we had to meet. We love Monica—”

“Yeah. I’m sorry, too,” Carol says, cutting her off. She really doesn’t want to talk about Monica.

“So, about their apartment. Is it all right if I pack up Monica’s stuff and send it to you? I’m sure you won’t be able to get back here for awhile?”

Carol doesn’t respond. She didn’t know they were living together, that things were more serious than she thought.

“You didn’t know they’d moved into together. Sorry. It was only for the past month or so.”

“No, no, it’s fine. I just…” Carol pauses, trying to think of something. “I really hadn’t even thought about cleaning up her stuff, to be honest.” That’s actually very true.

“I know. It’s just that the landlord has been calling me and saying he needs the apartment. I don’t know who he thinks is going to move in there.”

Carol’s about to say she’ll threaten him, before remembering who she’s talking to. “If you wouldn’t mind packing up her things, then yes, please. But I can send someone, or I can pay you—”

“No, no, no. Of course not. I’ll take care of it and send it to your house in Louisiana?”

“Yes, please. At least let me cover the shipping.”

“It’s fine. Please let me do this. Do something.”

Carol knows what it’s like to feel helpless. “Thank you."

“Carol…” Jennifer hesitates and Carol can tell she’s not sure she should say whatever it is she wants to say. “Do you think this is permanent? Do you know anything? I mean… the Avengers must be trying to fix this, right? I heard Tony Stark is doing better.”

Their visit with Thanos is still fresh in Carol’s mind, probably will be for all eternity. Had she really thought they would just undo this so simply? “Jennifer… I have a friend who works with the Avengers. Please don’t say anything yet to anyone. There’s nothing they can do. They tried. It didn’t work. Steve Rogers is going to announce it tomorrow.”

Jennifer starts sobbing.

“I’m sorry.”

Carol has to go to Louisiana. There’s no one there she knows anymore. Carol’s friend Connie, the old woman who worked at the library, passed away a long time ago. Maria’s parents both did as well in the past few years.

But she has to get the house taken care of. She pays someone new to clean it and look after it. She only goes as far as the garage to move Monica’s boxes in. She has to stay an extra night to talk to a lawyer about the mortgage payments, the bills, and selling their cars, but she won’t stay in the house.

They fell in love in California, but they found each other again and built their life in this house in Louisiana.

She takes Maria’s dog tags off, and adds the engagement ring to the chain. She stuffs them all in her inside jacket pocket. They stay there for the next three years.

She goes to a dive bar she’d been to a few times in the past and finds a woman to flirt with. She’s very out of practice, but they’re both sad and miserable. She gives her a fake name. 

The woman lives nearby, so they leave together, and have sex in her apartment. For a few moments, Carol forgets.

But then she remembers.

This is worse than Hala. She knows what she’s missing this time.

If she has to come back to Earth, fine, but she hopes she never has to come back to Louisiana.

* * *

** Year 2 **

It’s just the six of them one night—Carol, Natasha, Okoye, Nebula, Rocket, and Rhodey—talking and eating after wrapping a meeting. Usually, they had them by hologram, but they’d decided to have this one in person. Maybe because it’s Christmas, the second one since the Snap, though no one would admit it.

They’re the Avengers now. Apparently, Carol’s an Avenger.

Proposing so close to Christmas had been stupid, Carol decided last year. It just made this holiday even worse to go through.

A few phones buzz. It’s Tony, sending Natasha and Rhodey a few more pictures of his daughter. Nat throws them up on the big screen.

There’s food all over the kitchen and Tony in one picture, and a smirk on Morgan’s face. The baby, as babies do, brightens the room a bit. But not for Carol.

Carol’s the only one in the room with a kid. Carol’s the only one in the room who’s lost a kid.

“That kid is trouble,” Nat says, laughing.

Carol goes to the bathroom and vomits.

“You OK?” Okoye asks when she comes back.

“Lieutenant … Trouble … is what I call … called … my kid.”

“Oh, geez, Carol,” Nat says. “I’m sorry.”

Carol shakes her head. “You didn’t know.” She looks at the photo. She’s seen that smirk before. Shit, she wishes it’d been easier to take photos when Monica was little. “And you’re right. She is.”

“What’s with the new suit, Danvers? You needed a sash, too?”

“Give it a rest—” Rhodey says, but Carol interrupts him.

“My kid always thought it should have a sash. Found this old drawing.” Carol holds up a piece of notebook paper so Rocket can see Monica’s old drawing, which she found tucked inside a book on her ship a few weeks ago. “Any jokes you wanna share?”

“Uh, no. No. Looks nice.”

“Are you all done?” Nat says to the row of holograms in front of her. “Can we get started? There’s a lot to go over.”

* * *

** Year 3 **

“I can’t believe you got me to read Harry Potter!” Rhodey’s laughing.

“It was good, right? I told you, not just for kids.”

“Yeah, it’s great.” He holds up a stack of six books. “I already got the rest of them.”

“Yes!!” Carol says to his hologram. It’s just the two of them chatting, as they do sometimes. Lately they’ve been swapping book and movie recommendations.

This time they are both eating—dinner for Carol and breakfast for Rhodey.

“How about you?”

“I tried watching The Martian. I really did. But the space stuff…”

“You’re no fun.” Rhodey groans.

“Hey, I’m plenty fun.”

“I’ve yet to see.” She gives him the finger and he laughs. “There are movies other than Star Wars, you know.”

“Not good ones. … How’s Earth?

“Still spinning. And space?”

“Big.” Carol sighs. “It’s Maria’s birthday.”

“Carol. I’m sorry. We didn’t have to talk today. I didn’t know.” When Carol doesn’t respond, he continues. “You wanna talk about her?”

Carol shakes her head. “No.”

Carol spends most of those first three years trying to forget. 

She sleeps with a handful of women, maybe several handfuls.

Every time, it feels good in the moment. Every time, she feels even worse after.

How did Maria get through this all those years ago?

She had Monica. That’s what she always said.

What does Carol have?

She’s in New Asgard when her communicator buzzes. It’s Nebula.

She puts on a shirt and gets out of the bed before she answers.

“Carol, there’s some space junk spinning out of control and heading for Pol.”

Pol. _Fuck._

She and Maria spent more than a few romantic weekends on the beach there.

“On my way.”

She looks at the Asgardian —Valkyrie — in bed, still asleep.

She doesn’t leave a note.

She doesn’t sleep with anyone again, not anymore.

Carol puts the chain with their rings and Maria’s dog tags back on and never takes it off again.

* * *

** Year 4 **

“Can I help you?”

Carol’s been standing outside their old house in California for too long, she realizes now. She puts her hands up and shrugs at the man walking off the front porch.

“Sorry. Sorry. Lost in thought. Used to live here.”

“You must’ve been real small. We’ve lived here a long time.”

“Yeah. … I was a little kid.” Carol sighs. “OK, I’ll leave you. Sorry again.”

“Wait,” the man says, jogging down the driveway. “Are you M?”

Carol stops. “M?”

“From the height chart. In the kitchen doorframe.”

_Oh._ “Yeah. That’s me. Sorry we marked up your wall.”

“No, we loved it.” The man smiles broadly. “Oh, I wish my wife was here. She just went out to the store. Our little girl wouldn’t let us paint over it. She wanted to catch up to M. We all had guesses on what your name was.”

Carol smiles, genuinely enjoying this. “Let’s hear ‘em.”

“Mindy,” he says first, shaking his head. “But I know that’s not right.”

Carol laughs. “Indeed.”

“My wife thought Michelle.”

Carol shakes her head.

“My guess was Maria.”

“Close. That’s … my mom’s name.”

“I’ll take it.” The man pumps his fist. “So, would you mind telling me yours, please?”

“Of course. Monica.”

“Monica. Beautiful name. I’m Ed. I can’t wait to tell them I met you.”

Carol takes another long look at the house, then looks back at Ed. “Did you have a lot of problems with the kitchen sink?”

“For a little while, but we got it fixed eventually.” He laughs. “You remember a leaky sink?”

“My … mom complained about it a lot. She wanted the landlord to fix it, but he never did.”

He points back to the house. “Do you want to come in? Have a look around?”

Carol shakes her head. She hadn’t thought about going in. She’s not even sure how she ended up on this street. She’d come out to California to look at some planes at Nat’s request. “Oh. No, no. That’s fine. I was just passing by.”

“Did you … lose someone? Is that why you’re here?”

“No, no. Everyone’s fine. Had to be out here for work and wanted to see if it looked the way I remember it. And it looks better. You have a lovely home.”

“You came all this way. Please, come in.”

Carol puts a hand over her heart. “I truly appreciate it. And thank you for talking to me. But I do have to go.”

He pulls a business card out of his wallet. “If you change your mind, and want to stop in for some coffee, we would love to have you.”

“Thank you.” Carol takes it. “Uh, your family. Your wife, daughter. They all OK?” She’s almost afraid to ask, but she has to know.

“Yeah, we’re all fine. As fine as we can be.”

“Right. OK. Good. It was nice to meet you, Ed.” Carol starts to walk away, but turns back. She points to the house. “Thanks for taking care of it.”

“Thanks to your family for taking care of it first.”

“What are you doing back so soon?” Nat says, following Carol into the kitchen.

Carol had left Avengers Compound a few hours earlier after giving Nat the report on the planes. She’d intended to head right back to space, but changed her mind.

“The refrigerator was really sad. You gotta eat better.”

Carol starts unloading groceries from her knapsack and putting them away.

“Thanks, Mom.”

They both freeze.

“Ah. I always say the wrong things.”

Carol takes a deep breath. “It’s OK. You’re fine.” She looks at the groceries. “I guess this _was_ a very mom thing to do.”

They both laugh, a little uneasily at first, but then more relaxed and real.

“It really was.”

Carol puts fish and chicken in the freezer. “Well, I stand by it.” She takes a box of instant mac and cheese out of a cabinet. “This is fine every once in awhile. But not as your only meal.”

“I have cereal too.”

“Froot Loops don’t count.”

Nat shrugs. “Not a good cook.”

Carol holds up a pair of steaks. “How about I make dinner tonight?”

“That’d be great.”

* * *

** Year 5 **

The Avengers have Christmas together. Carol’s not sure how many it’s been since the Snap. Four or five. She doesn’t celebrate it if she’s alone.

But this year they try to make an effort. No gifts or anything, just the six of them having a meal and hanging out.

It’s actually kind of nice?

“And then Rocket’s running away screaming,” Carol says, barely able to get through the story she’s laughing so hard.

They’re all laughing, even Nebula is almost sort of laughing. OK, maybe not Rocket, but he started it, and she knows he’ll hit her back full force.

“And it was just his shadow!!” Carol doubles over, laughing so hard she’s crying.

Rocket’s also laughing, Carol realizes!

“Well, I am very intimidating,” he says.

They all laugh even harder.

For some reason, they start sharing their most embarrassing moments. Carol’s got a lot to choose from, but she goes with the time Evelyn found her topless in the kitchen, trying to get Maria to sing along to the radio, right after she came back from a morning run on their day off.

“So I’m totally topless, one arm around Maria, belting out Whitney Houston, and her mom walked out of the bathroom! I forgot she was staying with us.”

“You _forgot_ she was there?” Okoye asks, disappointment in her voice.

“It was _really_ hot and my clothes were so sweaty.” Carol shrugs. “The music was good. … I was young, stupid, and in love.”

“What was the song?” Rhodey wants to know.

Carol half-sings it, changing the words where appropriate. “How will I know if _she_ really loves me. I say a prayer with every heartbeat. I fall in love whenever we meet…”

“You’re a pretty good singer, Danvers,” Nat says.

Carol shakes her head, smiling. “Nah, Maria was better.”

“How’d you propose?” Okoye asks.

“Oh yeah,” Nat says. “I bet it was good.”

“In space?” Rocket asks.

Nebula leans in. “Were you on fire?”

Carol covers her face. “You’re gonna make fun of me.”

“I’m gonna do it either way,” Rocket responds. “So you might as well tell us.”

“She was cleaning the kitchen, and I did it when she had her hands in a sink of dirty, soapy water.”

They all roll their eyes and laugh.

“I thought you were cooler,” Rhodey says and Carol swats him away.

“Are you,” Nat says, slowly and with a hint of disgust, “are you serious?”

“I’m sure she loved that,” Okoye says.

Carol laughs. “She still said yes.”

“Oh, come on.” Nebula is not impressed.

“That’s the lamest thing I ever heard,” Rocket says, pointing and laughing.

“At least I got someone to marry me.”

They all laugh.

“Ooooo. She got you.”

It’s been a long time since Carol sang, talked about Maria so easily, smiled so much, laughed so much.

It feels good. Really good.

She finds Rhodey the next morning in the kitchen, about to make coffee.

“Does the offer to talk about Maria and Monica still stand?”

“Absolutely.”

“Thanks. I’ll buy you breakfast?”

“Let’s go.”

They sit at the diner for hours, through breakfast and too many cups of coffee to count. Once Carol starts talking, she can’t stop.

“You know how many boxes I had to move to get this ring?”

“Auntie Carol _always_ sleeps in Mommy’s bed with Mommy!”

“I’ll fly up there and meet you one day! And then she did.”

“She always watched me sleep. She thought I didn’t know, but I did. I’d pretend to be asleep a little longer.”

“The smartest kid. Her first word was book!”

“I wish you could’ve seen her fly a plane.”

“Bill Buckner … I broke a lamp that night. And woke up Monica. I can’t believe she didn’t break up with me.”

“And then suddenly I’m making salads for dinner, taking the kid to practice, and driving the speed limit, like a proper adult.”

_Someone_ else should know how amazing Maria and Monica were.

When they get back, Nebula, Rocket, and Okoye have all left. Nat drags her and Rhodey out to a karaoke bar, inevitable once Carol revealed she could sing.

It’s empty, so the three of them can pretty much sing as much as they want. 

Then a long dinner where they don’t talk about being Avengers, or who and what they’ve lost. They follow that with a poker game that Nat wins easily.

Carol has fun.

Carol has friends.

Is that OK?

She cries herself to sleep.

She leaves without saying goodbye to anyone.

She’s not going back to Earth ever again.

Carol wakes up on her ship one morning and sees herself in the mirror. Her hair looks just like it does in that photo with Maria. She grabs a knife and hacks off as much as she can.

Rocket makes fun of her on their hologram meeting a few days later. Nat calls her immediately after.

“Carol, are you all right?”

“I couldn’t look at it anymore.” She hangs up. Okoye and Rhodey try to call her, too, but she doesn’t answer. She looks in a mirror. She’d been avoiding doing so for the past several days.

OK, maybe they have a point.

She gets it fixed. It’s really short. She doesn’t have to worry about it matching that photo again.

Carol wonders one night, wildly, whether her parents got dusted.

She doesn’t even know if they were alive at the Snap, hadn’t looked them up in years, didn’t care to know. Doesn’t look them up now, either.

She hopes they were alive and they didn’t get dusted. 

This life, this horrible life, post-Snap? It’s for the fuck-ups, Carol knows.

It’s torture.

“Grow up,” Carol snaps. “It’s not like we fucked.”

“That’d be easier to take,” Rhodey says. “At least we both would’ve gotten something out of it before you bailed.”

“Screw you.”

She hasn’t been taking Rhodey’s calls for weeks. Barely even speaks when anyone else calls her. She shows up on the holograms, hangs up the moment it feels like it might be done. Rhodey finally got her to pick up this time, saying it was an emergency. He laced into her the moment she answered.

“Fine. I get it. You got what you needed, right? Got to lay down your burdens on me. Now you don’t need any of us anymore.” 

Carol doesn’t respond.

“Look, I’m going to talk to her about Barton today. You know, all those emails I’ve been sending you that you don’t reply to? I’m telling the rest of the team before I do. In case anyone wants to check in on her. Be her friend. Not that that’s your thing.”

Carol’s still silent.

“Well, this has been great. I guess we’ll talk again never?”

He moves to hang up.

“Wait.”

There’s a long silence where they just stare at each other.

Carol ends the call.

“Carol, will we see you here next month?”

Carol’s plan is to fly as far out into deep space as she can.

“Not likely.”

She’s never tested the limits of the universe before.

“You might not see me for a long time.”

Doesn’t know what will happen when she gets there.

“Good luck,” she says to Rhodey.

About telling Nat.

About everything.

She’s sitting on an asteroid, staring at that picture on her phone again.

She’s gotten to as far out as she’s gone in the universe before, so she’s taking a break before she keeps going.

One last look at Maria.

The picture of Monica asleep on Carol’s chest on Thanksgiving.

One last look at Monica.

She kisses the engagement ring. She worked so hard to get that ring, that life.

Her communicator buzzes.

But it’s not the Avengers channel.

She’s too far out for them to reach her anyway.

What’s happening?

She clicks it on.

Talos appears.

She must be farther out in the universe than she thought.

But if she’s going to have a hallucination, why can’t it be of Maria and Monica?

“Carol? Can you hear me? Carol?”

“Leave me alone.”

“Carol? It’s me.”

It’s a trick.

“Talos is dead. Just like everyone else. Whoever you are, you can stop simming him. I’m not going to fall for it.”

“Should I turn into a filing cabinet?”

Carol feels something inside. A feeling she hasn’t had in awhile.

“Talos?”

“That’s what I’m trying to tell you, Captain. It’s me. I don’t know what happened, but whatever it was, I think it’s un-happening.”

Carol starts to panic. She’s too far out. Can she even get back?

“Is Maria there?”

Talos shakes his head. “I haven’t seen her, but if I do, you’ll be the first to know.”

Where’s Maria? Where’s Monica? How is this even happening?

Carol shoves the phone and the rings back inside her suit and stands up. “Is your family OK?”

Talos nods. “Soren. Wulin. They’re all here.” Suddenly, his attention shifts to a monitor on his right.

“What is it?”

“Carol, I think something, something bad, is happening on Earth right now.”

Monica could be there.

Maria could be there.

The Avengers—her friends— _are_ there.

Carol explodes and takes off.

“Help! I need some help over here!” Hope is crouched over Carol, who is facedown on top of a pile of rubble. “It’s the fire woman. The one who destroyed the ship. I think she might be dead.”

“I don’t think she _can_ die.” Rocket runs over. “Danvers, come on. Wake up.” He shakes her. “How about a smile for me, sweetheart?”

“Stop that,” Okoye admonishes him, but his badgering seems to work. Carol groans and tries to push herself up.

“Hey, hey, slow down Danvers,” Hope says.

“Thanos,” Carol says, now able to push herself up onto her hands and knees.

Okoye crouches next to her. “It’s over, Carol. We won.”

“Really?”

“Yes.”

Carol stands up anyway, surveying the damage, though she can’t make much sense of it. The only things she can think are Thanos, Maria, and Monica.

“Everyone’s back?”

Okoye nods. “It seems so.”

Carol tries to use the communicator on her wrist, but it’s broken. She reaches for her phone, inside her suit, but that’s broken as well.

She sees Rhodey. Then Pepper. Then Tony. _Oh, fuck._

She spots Nebula and then looks around. “Where’s Nat?” She asks. Okoye doesn’t know. “Rocket, where’s Nat?”

Rocket looks down and shakes his head. _Oh, fuck._

She pulls the chain out of her suit. All three rings, and Maria’s dog tags, are there and in tact.

“Try somewhere they’d consider safe,” Bruce tells her. 

“Good luck,” Okoye says. “Let us know when you find them.”

Carol holds out her phone. “I can’t.”

Bruce gives her his. They make sure Carol has all the numbers she needs and Carol does one last check that she’s not needed there right now. She’s not. She’ll come back to help with the cleanup, she says.

She starts where she’s always wanted to go when something bad happened. Their house in Louisiana. She can’t see any lights on, but it’s 4 a.m., so she hopes they're asleep.

She quietly turns the key in the lock. She never intended to come back here, but she always took the key with her, made sure the bills were paid.

The first floor is empty, completely untouched, so she heads upstairs.

There is a light on upstairs, in their bedroom. It faces the backyard, so she didn’t see it when she approached the house. 

Monica and Maria are asleep on the bed, their communicators on their chests. It’s the most beautiful sight Carol’s ever seen.

She bites down the howl that threatens to escape from her, doesn’t want to wake them up, especially not that way.

She watches them for a few more minutes before going back downstairs. She checks in with Okoye and then collapses on the couch.

Maria’s face is the first thing Carol sees when she wakes up. She’s sitting on the floor, her head rested on the couch in front of Carol.

“Hi.” Carol’s too exhausted to move, barely has enough strength to talk.

“Hi.” Maria runs her hand through Carol’s hair. “Where’d all your hair go?”

“Long story. You like it?” Carol puts a hand on top of Maria’s.

“Yes. I love you.”

“Love you, too.”

“I’ve been listening to the news on the radio. Were you there?”

Carol nods.

“Are you OK?”

Carol shrugs. “Couldn’t call.”

“Everything’s broken. I saw.”

“Monica OK? You OK?”

“I don’t know, but we’re handling it. She’s asleep still. We were so worried about you.”

“Sorry.”

“Nothing to be sorry about, honey.” Maria’s got a wet washcloth in her hand. “Can I clean your face a bit?”

“Please.”

Carol’s truly not sure she’s not hallucinating. Maybe she did find the edge of the universe, and the last 24 hours have been all in her head, what happens when you get sucked into a black hole.

At least she got to see Maria and Monica again.

She can’t keep her eyes open and drifts back to sleep.


	2. Chapter 2

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thanks for reading! (This was going to be three chapters, but it's now four.)

_“Auntie Carol?”_

_“Hrmph.”_

_“Auntie Carol?”_

_“Hmmmm.”_

_“Did you have a bad dream, too?”_

_It’s a little after 2 a.m., and Carol’s barely been asleep for a half hour after getting home late following a double shift._

_She had intended to sleep in her own bed, not wanting to wake Maria. It’d only been about two weeks since they started sharing a bed, and she wasn’t really sure if that was a thing they would do every night._

_But, when she got home, she remembered that she still had not put fresh sheets on hers—it had been a nice excuse to keep sleeping in Maria’s—and then she saw that Maria had put a glass of water and the book she’s been reading on the nightstand on what had become Carol’s side._

_So, maybe she was never going to put fresh sheets on her bed._

_“Auntie Carol!”_

_“Huh.”_

_She opens her eyes and finds Monica inches away from her face, staring at her._

_“I had a bad dream. You too?”_

_Oh. Now Carol gets it._

_“Yeah, I had a bad dream, sweetheart.”_

_Monica crawls over Carol and settles under the blankets between her and Maria._

_“It’s OK. Mommy gives the best hugs.”_

_Carol wonders for a fleeting moment if this is a bad idea—she knows Maria doesn’t really like to let Monica sleep in the bed—and there’s also the whole issue of, you know, Carol being there too. They haven’t talked about how to handle their relationship in front of Monica._

_But she’s so tired._

_“Yeah, she does.”_

* * *

**March**

Carol wakes up and tries to sit up, but it doesn’t quite work. Her body still hurts, a lot. She opens her eyes. Monica’s sitting in the recliner on the opposite side of the room, facing her.

“Lieutenant Trouble.” Carol’s voice is hoarse. “You’re so big.”

“Rude,” Monica says, laughing.

“I think. Dreaming. About when you were little.” Carol tries again to push herself up, and this time it goes better, but it’s still a struggle.

“Hey, hey. Easy. Mom’ll kill me if you hurt yourself.” She sits down on the couch so that Carol can lean against her, which she does.

“This a dream?” Carol asks.

“I don’t think so.”

“You’re really here?”

“I’m really here.” Monica reaches for a glass of water on a table nearby. “You need to drink something.”

Carol downs the whole glass of water and hands it back to her. “Where’s Mom?”

“She went to get food. There wasn’t anything to eat here. She’ll be back soon.”

“Okay.” Carol puts a hand on Monica’s cheek. “I missed you.”

“I missed you, too.”

Carol raises an eyebrow.

“It’s still been awhile since I’ve seen you,” Monica says. “And I think I can feel that … it’s been longer.”

Carol rests her head on Monica’s shoulder again. “Eugene. He OK?”

“Yes. He’s at his parents’ house. The phone lines are all jammed, but we’ve been able to get some texts through.”

“Want me to go get him?”

Monica laughs. “As fun as it would be to have my mom personally carry my boyfriend across the country, Mom would _definitely_ kill us both if you flew out of here before she got back.”

Carol’s strength is coming back, but she’s not able to really laugh yet. She smiles. “Not me. Just you.”

“Yeah, that’s probably true. When can we talk about your hair?”

“Looks good, right?”

“It actually does. I like it.”

Carol points to the sash on her right hip. “Found an old drawing of yours.”

“I saw! I told you it’d look good.”

“Yeah.” Carol starts to reach for Bruce’s phone on the coffee table, but Monica gestures for her to stay. She picks it up and hands it to Carol. “Did this ring?”

“No. Is that the Avengers?”

Carol nods and scrolls through the phone. No calls or texts. “Bruce Banner’s phone. Mine broke. All my photos.”

“It’s backed up. I saw my boxes in the garage. I have extra phones. We’ll fix one up and transfer it all over.”

“So smart.”

They sit in silence for a little bit as Carol drinks a few more glasses of water. After awhile, Monica’s phone buzzes and she types out a reply.

“Eugene?” Monica nods in response to Carol’s question. “Why didn’t you,” Carol starts, cautiously, “tell us you moved in with him?”

“Yeah. … Carol—”

“Not even me. I know … I wasn’t always around. But your mom…”

“Stop. No. You were there. It wasn’t about any of that.” She sighs. “I knew if I told you both, you would want to meet him.”

“Correct.”

“And that’s no small thing. I don’t want just anyone to know about … space. I want you guys to be safe. … I had to be _really_ sure before we told him everything.” Monica’s phone buzzes again, but she doesn’t look at it yet.

“And? Are you sure?”

Monica smiles. “Yeah. I’m sure.”

Carol smiles back. “Definitely gonna go get him now.” She fakes starting to stand up, and Monica gently pulls her back.

“Don’t you dare.” They both laugh.

“Let’s meet him. We’ll talk with Mom first, of course, but I know we would both love to meet him as soon as we can.”

“I’d like that.” Monica picks up her phone. “And that was Mom. She’s on her way back.”

Carol looks down at her clothes, smells herself. “When … were you gonna tell me I stink?”

Monica shakes her head. “It’s OK. I don’t care.”

“So gross. I should take a shower.” She starts to try to stand up.

“Do you need help?”

“I think I’m OK.” Carol does stand up, still with a little help from Monica. “Yeah. I’m good. I can do it.”

“OK. We left some clothes and towels in the bathroom down here for you, so you don’t have to use the stairs.”

“Thanks.” Carol smiles and Monica hugs her. “Oh,” Carol says, wincing a bit.

Monica pulls away. “Are you OK?”

“I’m fine, sweetheart. I’m great. Come back here.” She initiates another hug, biting her lip as she does so, but making sure Monica can’t see. “I love you.”

“Love you more.”

Over dinner, Carol fills them in on the last five years—the broad strokes of it. How she answered Fury’s page, how they found Thanos too late, how Carol somehow became an Avenger. How she was in deep space—here she doesn’t go into detail—when she found out that Talos was back, that something was happening on Earth, and came racing back.

“I thought we’d seen everything,” Monica says.

“Yeah.” Carol shrugs and sighs. She picks up her mug, but it’s empty. “Anyone for more coffee?”

Maria and Monica both shake their heads.

“Actually,” Maria says. “I know I just slept or whatever for five years, but I’m beat.” She looks at Carol, who chose to sit on the opposite side of the table, next to Monica. “Let’s go to bed?”

Carol looks to her left. “I thought I’d sit up with Monica a little longer.”

Monica shakes her head. “I would love to, but I’m pretty tired, too. And I want to try to call Eugene a few more times before I fall asleep.”

Maria and Carol spend about five minutes hugging Monica goodnight before heading up to their bedroom.

“Hey,” Maria says to Carol as she shuts the door behind them. She sits down on the bed. “Come sit with me?”

“You know, I need a glass of water. I’m thirsty. You want one?”

“Please sit. I know something’s wrong. Whatever it is, you can tell me.”

Carol stares for a moment and then sits down on the bed, far from Maria. She keeps her focus on her hands in her lap, won’t look at Maria, won’t even look up at all.

“Honey, where’s your head at?”

Carol crumbles. “Please don’t say that.” She’s crying, hard and fast.

“Hey, hey.” Maria slides over and puts an arm around Carol, but Carol pulls away and stands up. “Carol, I’m here. Let’s sit and talk. Please.”

“I cheated on you,” Carol blurts out. “A lot.”

“Okay—” Maria says slowly.

“Maria, it’s not OK.”

“That’s not what I meant.”

“I had sex with a lot of women.”

“I get it.”

“For years.”

“Carol, I get it.”

“So many.”

“OK,” Maria says, putting a hand up to stop Carol from again arguing about her words. “You mean while … I was gone, right?”

Carol nods.

“Are you still sleeping with any of them?”

Carol shakes her head and wipes her tears on her sleeves. “Two years ago.”

“Do you want to sleep with any of these women now?”

Carol shakes her head even harder. “No, no. Not them, not anyone else. No.”

“Is this why you haven’t given me my rings back yet? I can see you’ve got all three of ours around your neck.”

“I shouldn’t be wearing any of them.” Carol takes the chain off and puts it down on the bed. “I’m sorry. I’m so sorry.”

Maria puts a hand over the rings. “What else?”

“That’s not bad enough for you?”

“Carol, I _know_ you. … What else?”

“I should’ve stopped Thanos. The first time. This time.”

“A lot of people tried to stop him.”

“I’m not a lot of people!”

Maria starts to say something, but stops herself. She knows that she’s not going to hear whatever she says right now.

Carol sits down on the bed, still far from Maria. “Last Christmas, we had a party. The Avengers. The six of us. It was fun. Really fun.” She starts crying again. “I’m so sorry.”

Maria’s not sure what to say to this one. “You’re sorry because you had fun one day?”

Carol shakes her head. “It was two days. Christmas and the day after. I left after that party. That was the last time I was on Earth, until now.”

“Were there other days you felt happy?”

“Not really.”

“Carol.” Maria shifts closer, but then stops herself. “Can I hold you?”

“Don’t. Please, don’t.” She stands up. “I’m not tired, but you should go to bed. I have to check in with the Avengers anyway. I’ll go downstairs.”

“Wait.”

Carol stops at the door and turns around.

“Show me. Please.” Maria walks over and stands close, but leaves Carol some space.

“What?”

“You said he hit you with the Power Stone. Show me where, please.”

Carol hesitates.

“Please, Carol.”

Carol looks at her for a long moment, and Maria thinks she might turn and leave, but then she slowly lifts her shirt to reveal her stomach.

It takes all of Maria’s strength and willpower to not react. It looks really, really bad. Her wife’s torso is deeply burned, and a shade of blackish/reddish/purplish that Maria’s not sure she could ever properly describe.

“How—” Maria starts, then stops herself. _How are you still standing?_ That’s the question she wants to ask. But she settles on, “How does it feel?”

“Oh that?” Carol’s words are her usual playful self, but nothing about the expression on her face matches them. “Hopefully nothing happens because I think I used everything I have in me for awhile to fly here.”

“Does it hurt?”

Carol looks away and nods. “I need to use your communicator to message Talos, and ask him to bring me a Xorrian oil. But it’ll probably take him a few days. So until then…” She grimaces.

“Can you ask the Avengers for help?”

Carol doesn’t respond.

“Let me at least clean it, and wrap it with some gauze and first aid cream.”

“Oh … no … no … that’s OK.” She drops her shirt.

“Please. You can’t just leave it like that.”

It’s another long moment of looking at each other before Carol agrees. They go into their bathroom and Maria uses two full rolls of gauze, wrapping it around Carol’s stomach. She does her best to keep from touching her, but every time her fingers do brush skin, whether it’s the burned skin or even the unburned skin, Carol flinches.

“All done, honey.” She didn’t mean to say “honey” again, but it slipped out before she could stop herself.

“Thank you. … OK. Get some rest, please.”

“You too. I love you, Carol.”

“I love you, too. I have to go downstairs now.”

Carol doesn't go back to up to their room that night. The next morning, she asks Maria to sit out on the porch with her.

“There’s one more thing I didn’t tell you.” She sits down on the steps and looks out into the backyard. “The reason I was so far out in space. … I wanted to … I think I did … give up.”

“You didn’t.”

Carol shrugs.

“I know what you’ve said in the past—”

“I’m not going to a therapist.”

“I really think—”

“You know how I feel about this.”

They’d talked about this a few times before, especially when Carol first came back, but she’d always resisted. She didn’t want to spend the whole time talking about her parents, and she couldn’t share anything about what had happened to her, so there really was no point, she said.

“Maybe the Avengers have someone?”

“Maria, stop. I’m just telling you because you should know.” 

“Okay.”

“If you want to leave—or, I guess if you want me to leave—that’s fine. I get it.”

Maria’s a little taken aback. She didn’t expect Carol to suggest separation. “I want … to keep living with my wife.” She looks at Carol. They’re both crying. “If that’s what she still wants?”

Carol nods. “It is. It is.”

* * *

** April **

Carol goes alone to Tony’s memorial service. She stands in the back. Doesn’t talk to anyone.

A few of the now numerous Avengers—not Rhodey—try to catch her eye, but she pretends not to see. Fury doesn’t even try to approach her, knows better than to do so.

A little girl crying. Maria once told her how Monica had cried at Carol’s memorial service.

She had him. She had him. And then she didn’t.

She was gone. Not even there for their plan.

It’s been over for about five minutes and Carol figures she’s stayed the appropriate amount of time. She starts walking to an open spot in the field to take off.

“Danvers.” Steve Rogers.

He’s too close to pretend she didn’t hear him.

She turns around. He’s standing there with T’Challa, Black Panther, the King of Wakanda.

“I need to talk to you both,” he says. “Please.”

He wants them to take over leading the Avengers, he tells them. Natasha ran it for the last five years, and he’s doesn’t want to come back to do it now he says, so they need someone new in charge. He lays out all the reasons why it should be the both of them, the need to focus on Earth and space, how he feels about how they fought Thanos. 

It’s all very compelling, Carol thinks, except for the part where he’s wrong about her.

T’Challa also seems to think Steve is very wrong.

They both try to decline.

“This is exactly why you both should be in charge.” Steve smiles. “I understand it’s a burden. And you both have responsibilities and families.” That’s part of the reason why he thinks it should be two people, he says, so they can trade off, support each other.

“Someone’s going to do this. Shouldn’t it be people who understand what it means, what it takes? And not someone who seeks the power? Who doesn’t understand the cost of war?”

That actually makes sense, Carol thinks.

“Steve,” Carol says. “While you were all going back for the stones, I was—”

“You came back. It doesn’t matter where you were. You came back.”

Carol’s out of arguments. T’Challa appears to be as well.

“So, we wouldn’t go back to space as much. But we wouldn’t have to live at the compound or anything. We can still live here.” Carol fills Maria in on what Steve asked as soon as she gets home.

“What did you tell him? Are you going to do it?”

Carol looks confused. “I would never agree to anything without talking to you and Monica first. I told him I needed to talk about it with my family.” 

“Oh.”

There’s a long silence.

“When do you have to decide?”

“He said we could take however long we needed, but it seemed like he wanted it to be pretty quick. He seems really ready to move on. T’Challa’s going to call in the morning, so we can talk.” She puts a hand on the table, about to grab Maria’s, but changes her mind and puts her hand back in her lap. “We don’t have to decide by the morning. It’s just to see where we are. I don’t think either of us wants to agree to it unless the other does, too.”

“Do you want to do it?”

Carol takes a deep breath. “Yeah. I do.”

“Then you should do it.”

Eugene takes the news of Carol being a superhero and Monica’s parents living in space for the past 20 years surprisingly well, but then again, there are superheroes all over the planet now and he just came back from being “dead” for the past five years. And he understands why Monica didn’t immediately tell him, and is not mad at all, which only makes all three women like him even more.

Eugene's there for about three weeks before he and Monica start planning when to head up to New York, ready to get back to their lives and jobs, which are happy to welcome them back.

While they are with them in Louisiana, Maria convinces Carol to at least (secretly) move a recliner into the room, rather than sleep on the floor. It’s awkward and strange for both of them, figuring out a way to still be together. They don’t talk about it, but still decide together to not mention any issues at all to Monica. 

“You must be itching for us to leave,” Monica says to Maria early one morning. Carol’s in the study on a conference call, and Eugene’s out for a run. “We’ll be out your hair soon, I promise.” They're planning to road trip back in a few days.

“You know you can always stay as long as you want, baby.”

“You guys should be alone.”

Maria smiles. She’s not sure what things will be like with Carol when their daughter leaves, but she doubts it will be better. “We would love for you to stay.” That would be true no matter the state of things with Carol.

“I’ll come back a lot. I promise. Selfishly, I’m a little happy you guys won’t be in space that much anymore. I’ll support you guys wherever you are, but it’s going to be nice to see each other a lot more.”

“Yeah, me too.”

Monica pours them both a cup of coffee and they sit down at the table

“Is Carol OK?” Monica asks.

“What do you mean?”

“She just seems … I dunno. Kinda tired. But she doesn’t seem to rest.”

“She’s OK. She’s five years older than when we last saw her, and she got hurt pretty badly in the battle. But she’ll be OK.”

* * *

**May**

Carol’s always been a good wife, and a loving and caring partner, and she’s no different now. And things are, largely, very much the same. They take turns doing laundry and making meals. They eat together whenever they can. They text each other nice photos during the day. They go shopping together.

But there’s so much missing, Maria thinks. It’s not that she’s missing the sexual part of their relationship—she’s missing any kind of physical contact at all. Carol won’t even hold her hand.

The last memory Maria has of them together is a sleepy Carol tickling the back of her neck with her nose. And now, nothing.

Every night they’re under the same roof, Carol sleeps in the guest room.

Every night, Maria invites Carol to their bedroom.

Every night, Carol politely declines.

And even worse is the missing emotional connection. Maria can tell that Carol isn’t really there at all sometimes.

Carol invites Maria to join them on the Avengers, but Maria’s done. It’s nothing to do with Carol, and she really hopes Carol is telling the truth when she says she understands that.

Maria’s not a young woman anymore, even with skipping five years. And she would like a little less drama in her daily life. She’ll be there for Carol however she needs, but Carol has a very large Avengers team now as her backup.

Also, getting readjusted to living on Earth again after a very long time away is not easy.

She just wants to fly planes.

She gets a part-time job as a charter pilot.

Carol’s battled nightmares off and on her whole life, and everyone returning actually only seems to make those nightmares worse. She’s walking into the kitchen early one Sunday morning after a particularly bad one when the front door swings open.

“Don’t move,” Carol says, hiding on the other side of the door.

“It’s me. It’s me,” Monica says, rolling in a suitcase behind her.

“What … Monica, what the hell?”

“I was trying to surprise you for Mother’s Day.”

“You can’t … show up here announced.”

“Relax. I wasn’t going to burst into your bedroom or anything.”

“No, you know you shouldn’t startle me and also now you’re going to bring—” Carol’s wrist starts buzzing and she points at it. “The fucking Avengers down on this place.”

She clicks a button and a hologram of T’Challa appears. “We’re fine. Just our daughter surprising us.” She pulls Monica into the view.

“Sorry,” Monica says, waving.

“Good. Though we still must do the security checks.”

“I know,” Carol says. These were many of the security checks _she_ insisted on for all the Avengers, after all.

Monica ducks away and starts to go up the stairs.

“Monica, wait. Stay here.”

“I won’t wake her up. I’m just putting my bags in my room.” 

“I said stay here!”

But Monica’s not listening, and is already up the stairs.

“Carol, we have to do this now or else I have to send someone. I’m sorry,” T’Challa says.

“Damn it. I know.”

By the time Carol gets to the room, it’s too late. “It’s not what it looks like.”

“What’s going on?” Monica asks, loudly, pointing to the unmade bed. “I thought maybe you just fell asleep here last night, but all of your stuff is here. _All_ of your stuff.”

“I know.”

“This is your room now?”

Maria bursts in, a baseball bat in hand, and sees the two of them standing there. “What the hell is going on?”

“That’s what I’m trying to find out,” Monica says.

“What are you doing here?”

“Me?”

“Yes, you. The woman who does not live here who is here unannounced at—” She looks at a clock. “4:48 a.m.?”

“I wanted to surprise you guys and make breakfast for Mother’s Day.”

Maria sighs. “Monica—”

“Don’t worry. Carol already yelled at me—”

“I didn’t yell at you.”

“And I almost got the house struck by a drone. I know I fucked up.” She picks up her bags and leaves the room.

“Wait,” Maria says, as they both chase after her. “Where are you going?”

“The airport. A hotel. I don’t know. Not here.” Monica’s at the front door when they get downstairs.

“No, don’t open the—” Carol says, but it’s too late. Monica’s opened the door, setting off another round of lights and alerts on Carol’s wrist and throughout the house. Carol groans. “I reset the alarms.”

“God damn it.” Monica slams the door.

“Hey, T’Challa,” Carol says.

“Monica!” Maria’s yelling.

“Sorry. Sorry. Everything’s fine.” Carol on her communicator.

“Everything’s fine? Our family’s falling apart!”

Carol jogs into the kitchen.

“Monica,” Maria says.

“So what, am I trapped here now? Is every door hooked up to some kind of trip wire?”

“Keep your voice down.”

“Mom, you were yelling, too!”

Maria takes a deep breath. “Let’s all calm down. Would you sit, please?”

Monica stares at her and then sits down on the couch. “I guess I don’t really have much of a choice, do I?”

They sit in silence until Carol comes back into the living room. “Everything’s straightened out. I also put on a pot of coffee. I thought we could all use it.” She sits in the recliner on the other side of the room. “I’m not putting the alarms back on. If anyone wants to leave they can.

“Unless,” Carol says, when no one else speaks, “you two want tea? I’ll go make tea.” She stands up.

“Are you guys breaking up?”

Carol sits back down. “Never.”

“Of course not,” Maria says.

“Then what’s going on?”

“Nothing,” Carol says.

“It’s not nothing or else you would’ve told me. Or at least not tried to hide it from me.”

“We’re … in a rough patch.” Maria takes Monica’s hand. “Since the Blip.”

“For two months? And you didn’t tell me? Have you been faking things whenever I call?”

“No.” Carol crosses the room and sits on the other side of Monica. “We still live together. We still love each other. We’re still married. What room I sleep in doesn’t change any of that.”

“I don’t understand. What happened?” She looks down. “Nevermind. None of my business.”

“Mon, look at me,” Carol says. “Please?”

Monica looks up. She’s crying.

“Oh sweetheart.” Carol hands her a tissue. “The most important thing. The _only_ important thing … is that I love you and your mom. Nothing can ever or will ever change that.”

Maria squeezes Monica’s hand. She looks at Carol. “Same goes for me too, baby.”

“You guys never fight.”

“We’re not,” Maria says. “We’re not fighting now.”

“This isn’t a fight. There’s just a lot we need to work through.”

“You should’ve told me that you were having problems.”

“We should’ve. You’re right,” Maria says. “We’re sorry."

“We’re sorry. Can we give you a hug?” Carol asks. “I know you might be a little too old for a group hug—”

“Please hug me,” Monica says and they both wrap their arms around her.

“Thanos. The Snap. The Blip. Whatever. It all sucks,” she says after awhile.

“It does,” Carol says. “It does.”

“How have you been sleeping?” Maria asks one morning over breakfast before they both have to go to work.

“I didn’t really have the nightmares, you know, the past few years. But now I have them … a bit.” Carol shrugs. “You?”

“No nightmares, but I haven’t really been sleeping.”

“Yeah … haven’t heard you talking.”

Maria laughs. “Shut up.”

Carol grins back at her, but then her face drops. “Maria … I am so sorry. I’m sorry I cheated on you. I’m sorry I couldn’t protect you. I’m sorry I wasn’t here when you came back.” Her voice breaks. “Everything. I am so sorry.”

Carol has said this many times before.

“Hey, hey.” Maria puts a hand on the table. If Carol wants to take it, she can.

She doesn’t.

“I’m going to say this again, you have _nothing_ you need to apologize for.”

Carol doesn’t respond.

“Nothing. I mean it. I don’t care about the women. Nothing that happened matters.”

“Okay.” Carol looks down at her phone. “I have to get going soon.”

* * *

**June**

They go to the movies for the first time in ages.

Carol hasn’t called it a date, but she’s definitely been treating it like a date. She asked Maria to go a week in advance. She’s got a new shirt on. She’s got way too much product in her hair. She rushed to open the car door, and now she’s insisted Maria go sit down while she waits in the long line for snacks.

Maria’s not sure how Carol’s pulled off an evening without having to answer at least one message. She’s been so busy with Avengers stuff—not emergencies or invasions, mostly logistics and planning, and setting up a network of her space contacts to work with the Avengers—but tonight it’s just the two of them.

“Anyone sitting here?”

Maria looks up. It’s a man, pointing to the seat on the other side of her. “I don’t know. It’s reserved seating.”

“I’ll sit here until someone kicks me out of it then. Keep you company until your friend gets back?”

“No thanks.” He sits down anyway. _I see Earth men haven’t changed_ , Maria thinks.

Maria realizes she saw him in line behind them at the concessions with a few of his friends before Carol sent her into the theater. She pulls out her phone, pretends to text someone.

“I’m Bill.”

She doesn’t answer.

“What’s your name?”

Maria’s about to tell him she’s there with her wife, not her friend, but then…

“Hey, babe.” Carol sits down and puts her arm around Maria. She drops a drink into the cupholder between them and hands Maria a bag of candy. “I got us M&Ms, too.”

Maria has to suppress a laugh. She hasn’t heard “Hey, babe” in a very long time.

Carol holds the popcorn out to Bill, making direct eye contact with him. “You want some, man?”

Maria’s quite enjoying this.

“I’m good.” He puts his hands up. “I’m sorry.”

“No worries, buddy. Enjoy the movie,” Carol says as he walks away. She looks at Maria. “You good? I need to go punch him?”

Maria shakes her head. “I’m great.”

Carol smiles. “Good. Good.” She leaves her arm around Maria for the entire movie.

Carol pulls into the driveway and turns off the car, but doesn’t make a move to get out of it. Maria takes off her seatbelt, and shifts so she’s facing Carol.

They used to do this a lot, before they got together. Sit in the car a little too long just to get a few extra minutes alone talking to each other before sending the babysitter home. They used to do it a lot after they got together, too, only with much more kissing.

Maria’s honestly not sure which version of this routine is going to happen tonight. Maybe neither since Carol is still staring straight ahead, one hand on the wheel.

“Tonight was fun,” Maria says cautiously, weary of spooking Carol.

Carol sold her Mustang during those five years, sold Maria’s car too. They bought an old truck a few weeks ago since they’re back on Earth full time and need to get around. It’s nothing special, neither was really in the mood to look for a car, and they picked the first one that could get the job done. 

Maria slides herself a little bit closer to the middle. The seat goes fully across, with no console in between them.

“Yeah.” Carol nods. She finally takes off her seatbelt and turns to look at Maria. “Yeah it was.”

“The movie could’ve been a little better.”

Carol groans. “Yes! I didn’t want to say anything in case you liked it, but…”

“I definitely did not like it.” Maria laughs. “That’s not how you fly a plane!”

“That’s not how you fly a plane!!!”

They’re both laughing now. 

“The company was good though,” Maria says, edging a bit closer.

“Yeah.” Carol’s moved closer, too.

“It was nice, the way we sat at the movie. … And it’s nice sitting here with you now.”

Carol’s staring at Maria. “It is. … Maria, I …” She stops.

“Yeah?”

She looks down at Maria’s lips and then back up. “Maria?”

Maria nods. “Yes.”

Carol takes a deep breath. She looks down again, but then closes her eyes and shifts back into the driver’s seat. “I can put on some music.” She puts the key back in the ignition and turns the radio on. “There we go.” She turns the volume up a little too loud, effectively silencing the conversation for the moment.

Maria bites her lip and leans back in her seat, trying to hide her frustration. “Nice.”

After sitting silently through three fast pop songs, none of which they are familiar with, Carol’s left wrist starts buzzing and flashing. It’s the Avengers communicator. 

“They were only going to contact me with emergency emergencies tonight,” she says, hitting a few buttons to start pulling up the details on whatever crisis is happening.

So it was a date.

“I have to go.” She points up. “Up there. The Guardians are in trouble.” She leans over, about to kiss Maria on the lips, like always before she goes on a mission, but then shifts up and kisses her forehead instead. “I’ll call you when I can. Love you.” She’s out of the car as the suit forms onto her, and into the sky in seconds.

It’s the first time Carol has kissed Maria at all since she’s been back.

“Love you, too.”

Carol gets to the Guardians in time, and everyone is fine, but for some reason she’s still on their ship two days later.

“Danvers,” Rocket says. “I seem to remember you mentioning a wife and kid a lot.”

Carol looks up. “Yeah.”

“Who were missing and now they’re back.”

“Yeah.”

“So what the hell are you still doing here?”

While Carol’s away, Monica FaceTimes Maria one night, and they really have it out. Monica’s been trying to bring it up for awhile, Maria knows, but Carol’s always been around.

“This is so stupid, Mom. It’s been months.”

“She thought we were dead for five years.”

“And you went to sleep one night next to your wife, and the next day you were married to someone who won’t sleep in the same room as you.” She sighs. “I’m going to talk to her.”

“No. Stay out of this, please.”

“I’m a grown woman. If I want to talk to my mom about this, I’ll talk to her.”

“Monica.” Maria’s as firm as she’s had to be in a long, long time.

Monica’s bravado wilts. “I’m sorry. I hate seeing you both like this. … I’m sure, you know, lots of couples … are going through this, too? What about counseling?”

They haven’t told Monica exactly why Carol’s so distant, but Maria knows she’s probably figured it out.

Maria shakes her head. “I tried, but she said no.”

Monica rolls her eyes. “Of course.”

“She’s trying, Monica. Five years is a long time to think someone’s never coming back, and then have them be right in front of you.”

“You spent six years without her.”

“And we didn’t get back together in one night. We talked for months. And still had a lot to work through after that. I know what she went through.”

“I do, too.”

Maria sighs. “Monica, I love you. And I know you grieved for Carol for six years, but you don’t. You don’t know what I went through. You don’t know what she went through.”

Monica looks away.

“Trust me, baby. I know what I’m doing.”

After she leaves space, Carol has to go to Wakanda for a meeting, but seems to overstay her welcome there as well.

Okoye basically asks her the same thing Rocket did.

It’s a good question, Carol thinks.

She still doesn’t go home right away.

Carol knocks on the front door of a small house in Philadelphia, and it opens.

“Heard you been making the rounds.” It’s Rhodey.

“I’m sorry.”

“Alright.”

“I have more to say.” She holds up a large bag. “And I brought food.”

He steps aside.

“Come in.”

By the time Maria and Carol are in the same room again, it’s been two weeks since their movie date. They kept in touch by text or call the whole time Carol was gone, but this is the first time they’re face to face since that night in the car, when it felt like _something_ was about to happen.

They’re having a late dinner.

“It’s gorgeous,” Maria says as she scrolls through photos of Wakanda on Carol’s phone.

“It really is. I’m sure I’ll be going there a lot. You should come with me sometime.”

“I’d love that.”

“Thanks for making dinner. It’s really good.”

“Anytime.”

“Listen, Maria” Carol says after a few minutes. “I’ve been wanting to talk to you about the night we went to the movies.”

_So have I_ , Maria thinks, but does not say. “Yeah?”

“It was wrong of me to act that way. With that guy.”

“The one who was bothering me?”

“If you want to talk to someone … or go out with someone, you should.”

“I definitely did not want to talk to him. Or… go out with him?”

“I don’t mean _him_. Just … if you want to go out with … or you know … be with … other people, you should.”

“Carol … no.”

Carol’s looking everywhere but at Maria. “I mean it. After what I did. And now. Since … we’re not…”

“Carol—”

“You should find someone who can … can give you that.”

“Please, stop.”

“You don’t have to tell me if you do.”

“Please stop talking about this.”

“I just—”

“I don’t want anyone else. I only want to be with you. _However_ we can be.”

“Maria—”

“This is not how I thought tonight would go,” Maria says under her breath.

“What?”

“Nothing.” Maria picks up her plate and takes it to the sink. “I’m tired. I’m going to bed.”

She stops at the bottom of the stairs and they both turn to look at each other.

“Do you want to sleep in our room tonight?”

“No thank you.”

“Goodnight, Carol.”

“Goodnight, Maria.”

* * *

**July**

Things settle back into their careful routine and they don’t talk about that night Carol came home, or their trip to the movies, again.

Whenever Carol’s able to, she gives Maria a ride to or from the airfield. She likes to see the planes, and it’s a nice way for them to spend a little extra time together.

They’re driving home on one such Thursday night—Maria’s filling Carol in on how she navigated through some pretty nasty weather on the way back from Las Vegas—when Carol’s Avengers communicator buzzes. She pulls over to check it.

“Everything all right?” Maria says, noticing the face Carol makes when she reads the message.

“It’s the security system. Monica’s at the house.”

When they pull into the driveway, they can see that Monica’s in the backyard. She’s sitting in a sleeping bag, with one empty sleeping bag next to her. She’s got a fire going.

It’s set up just like their first night together after Carol remembered, when she came back to them.

“I think we’re getting Parent Trapped,” Maria says. They put their stuff down in the house and head into the backyard together.

“Hey Lieutenant Trouble, whatcha doing?”

“There’s a meteor shower tonight,” she says. “Thought we’d all watch it together. Like old times.” She points to the spot next to her. “Join me.”

Carol sits down on the grass next to the sleeping bag and gestures for Maria to get in it. Monica starts to protest, clearly she wanted them to share it the same way they did all thoseyears ago. 

Carol puts her hand up. “We’re doing what you asked. We’re joining you. Let’s have a nice evening.”

They do have a nice evening. It’s a little awkward, and a little too cloudy to see a lot of meteors, but they’re together. Just like she used to, Monica falls asleep first.

Once Carol’s certain Monica’s asleep—she’s snoring—she speaks quietly to Maria. “I’ll talk to her in the morning.”

“I’m sorry. I told her to leave this alone, leave us alone. But she’s a little stubborn … like us.”

“I know. I’ll talk to her.” Carol takes a deep breath. “I am trying, Maria. I really am. Sometimes I feel like I’m almost there, and then … then I’m not.”

“Honey, I know. I’m in no rush. This is enough for me. It really is.”

“Thank you.”

“Where’s Mom?” Monica wakes up shortly after sunrise the next morning and sees Carol sitting next to her, staring at her.

“She’s inside. You and I need to talk.”

“Oh no.”

“Oh no is right.”

Monica sits up. “I just—”

“Mom asked you to leave this alone.”

“I know. I just thought I could help move things along.”

“It doesn’t work like that. It’s not that simple.”

“Do you still love Mom?”

“Always.”

“Then it’s that simple.”

“Monica, I’m here. We’re still a family. I’m not going anywhere. Ever.” Carol puts her arm around her. “Everything else … we love you, but we need you to stay out of it.”

Monica’s crying.

“It’s OK.” Carol kisses the top of Monica’s head and pulls her closer. “I got you.”


	3. Chapter 3

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thanks for reading!

** July **

Whether it’s because of Monica’s involvement, the passage of time, or a little bit of both, things start to shift in a positive direction between Maria and Carol. Carol seems to be making an effort to be more present more often. It’s still not easy, and she still declines sleeping in their room every night, but there’s a definite shift towards how things used to be.

Carol’s always needed time to work things out, and Maria’s tried to give that to her. It seems to be working.

So it’s a pleasant surprise, but not entirely out of the blue, when Maria walks into the airfield parking lot one evening and finds Carol sitting on the hood of their truck, arms full of red roses.

“This is a nice surprise. I thought you had to work late?”

“So did I.” Carol puts both bouquets in Maria’s hands. “But it turns out if you tell your coworkers it’s your wife’s birthday, they will stop at nothing to make sure you can leave early to go see her.”

What is a bigger surprise is that Carol kisses Maria on the cheek—a quick, breezy peck, like they do this all the time. “Happy birthday.”

With the flowers in her hands, Maria struggles to wipe a few happy tears away, so Carol gets them for her, leaving her hand on her cheek for a few extra seconds. “Here, I’ll take these back. I know I overdid it a little.”

“You didn’t.”

Carol puts the flowers on the hood. “Sorry they’re just boring old Earth roses and not the fancy space ones you love.”

“I love these boring old Earth roses. And my boring old Earth wife.”

“Heyyyy,” Carol whines and Maria squeezes her hand.

“I’m glad you’re here. Thank the team for me.”

“I’m glad I’m here, too. And you can thank them yourself.” Maria looks around and Carol laughs. “No, they’re not here. I mean this.” She hands her a card. “A wedding. Hope and Scott.”

“Oh wow. It’s real soon.”

“Yeah. … They’re not wasting any time.” She takes Maria’s other hand. “I guess I kinda have to go … You want to go with me?”

“You want me to?”

Carol nods. “Yeah, I do. If you want?”

“I do.”

“Good. Then let’s do it.” 

Maria looks down at their still joined hands, then back up at Carol. They’re both smiling. “Been a little while since we’ve been to a wedding.”

“I’m sure we can figure it out.”

“An Avengers wedding? Monica’ll be jealous.”

“Oh,” Carol says, her smile falling just a little. “She can probably come with us. I can ask?”

Maria shakes her head. “Nah, I think it’ll be nice … if it’s just us.”

Carol’s smile returns in full force. “Yeah, OK. I like that.”

They grin at each other for a little longer before Carol gently pulls away, clapping her hands together. “So, your birthday! I have some surprises, if that’s OK?”

Maria’s happy that Carol is so excited, but she’s a little disappointed Carol’s let go of their hands. “Who doesn’t love birthday surprises?”

On her way to meet Maria, Carol spotted an outdoor concert about to begin on a beach. She drives them to a spot nearby so they can listen in as they watch the sun set. In addition to the flowers, she also stopped at their favorite Thai place for takeout and they eat dinner in the back of the truck while they listen to the music. 

They’ve had a “no gifts” rule for years, but Carol breaks it a little this time. She noticed Maria needed new some new drawing pencils, but she insists the timing of her giving Maria these very fancy new pencils is just a coincidence.

She didn’t even wrap it, she says with an adorable wink, so it can’t count as a gift. Maria lets it slide.

Then it’s time for a small cake, and Carol lights two candles with her hands. 

“That never gets old,” Maria says.

“Don’t forget to make a wish.”

It’s very obvious what Maria’s wish is as she blows out the candles.

They listen to the concert—a few bands are pretty good, but most are just OK. They both lament how much they miss the music of their younger days, laughing at how old they both sound, and happy Monica isn’t around to tease them about it.

It gets chilly as the evening progresses, but neither wants to call it a night. Carol slides herself a little closer to Maria and silently warms up the back of the truck, so they are able to stay outside a little big longer.

It’s a nice night.

“Oh!” Carol says, looking at her watch, “I meant to text Hope and Scott that we’re going to the wedding.” She pulls out her phone and types out a message. 

Her phone buzzes seconds later. Then it buzzes again. Carol laughs as she reads the messages. “They are very excited to meet you.” She gives the phone to Maria. “Scott used eight exclamation points, and he usually ends every sentence with only four.”

“Wow, eight. I feel so special.” Their hands brush as she hands Carol back her phone.

“You are special.”

The evening goes so well that, when they get home, Maria doesn’t want to invite Carol into their room. It’s not that she doesn’t want her there—she _definitely_ wants her there. She just doesn’t want to spoil the night with Carol declining again. Even though they’ve had a good time, Maria can tell that Carol still isn’t ready.

But Maria still wants Carol to know she’s welcome, so she’s about to invite her anyway.

“I still have some work to do,” Carol says. “So I should probably sit up for a bit before I go to my room.”

Carol was thinking the same thing, and didn’t want to have to turn down Maria’s invitation tonight.

God, Maria loves her.

“Okay. See you at breakfast?”

“Wouldn’t miss it.” Carol takes Maria’s right hand, and kisses her palm.

Carol’s already well into a video meeting with the Avengers the next morning when Maria comes downstairs. Her wife is multi-tasking the call, as she often does, making breakfast while they go over the day’s agenda.

The smile and wave Carol greets her with is so warm that Maria thinks her heart might burst.

Maria pours herself a cup of coffee—Carol always has a pot ready—and sits down at the table. She realizes, belatedly, that she may have videobombed the Avengers call yet again and hopes she didn’t look too bad this time. She wonders what they think of her, in her bathrobe, sleepily reaching for coffee behind Carol in the mornings.

“Sam,” Carol says, just before the meeting wraps up. “I have to be up your way again today, so I thought I’d say hi to the recruits, if you have time?”

“We definitely have time. That’d be great.”

After the meeting ends, Carol brings over two plates of eggs and bacon she’s made for breakfast.

“You get a flight today?”

Sometimes Maria knew her flights in advance, but sometimes she only found out the morning of. Today was the latter. “I did. To Miami.”

“The weather’s going to be gorgeous it looks like.”

“Yeah, it should be a nice day for flying. So, you have to go back up there?”

Carol nods. “But I’ll be back for dinner. It just came up this morning or else I would’ve told you already and put it on the calendar.”

“I know. I wasn’t mad. I was just asking.”

It’s quiet as they eat their breakfast, and Maria’s a little worried she’s said something wrong.

“So… the Avengers have a,” Carol says finally, looking at Maria, “they have a therapist. In New York. I emailed her last night and she replied this morning. She can see me this afternoon. So, I’m going to go.”

“Are you sure? I don’t want you to feel pressured or forced.”

Carol puts her hand over Maria’s. “You only mentioned it once. I definitely do not feel pressured or forced. And you could never make me feel that way. I want to do this. I need to do this.”

“OK. I’m here if you need me.”

“I know.”

“Hey,” Carol says softly as she walks down the stairs and sees Maria.

“Hi. I just took this out of the dryer,” Maria says, handing Carol one of her Red Sox sweatshirts. “Thought you might want to put it on while it’s still nice and warm.

Carol was already back and in the shower by the time Maria got home, so she hurried to get the sweatshirt ready for her. It’s summer, and even with the air conditioning on the house is probably not cool enough for it, but Carol has always liked warm, comfy clothes after a rough day.

“Maria … thank you.” She puts the sweatshirt on. “I ordered pizza. Should be here soon. I hope that’s OK with you?”

“Of course. Whatever you want.”

“Thanks.”

“Do you want to maybe watch TV or a movie while we eat?”

Carol shakes her head. “Could we listen to some music? Do a crossword or something?”

“That sounds perfect.”

Carol clicks on the music and Maria starts setting the table.

“I’m going to keep going,” Carol says, once they’ve started eating dinner. “To the therapist. I want to keep going.”

“Good. That’s good.”

* * *

** August **

Hope and Scott’s wedding is nice, though neither Carol nor Maria have been to one in a very long time. Carol holds Maria’s hand during the ceremony, and has tissues ready for when one or both of them starts crying (they both cry).

It’s a small wedding, and not all of the Avengers are there, but it’s the first chance for most of those who are to get to meet Maria. Only T’Challa and Okoye met her when they stopped by for a visit a few weeks earlier. It all goes really well.

“I can’t believe I’m finally getting to meet Maria Rambeau,” Rhodey says, warm, when Carol introduces them, hugging Maria before giving Carol a pat on the shoulder. “I’ve heard a lot about you.” Things aren’t back to normal with Rhodey, but they’re getting there, and Carol’s really happy for Maria to finally meet him.

Sam walks over to their table. “I know you like coffee,” he says, handing Maria a hot cup of coffee. He, Maria and Rhodey all laugh, as do T’Challa and Okoye, who are sitting with them.

Everyone’s laughing except Carol. “What’s the joke?”

“Do you really not know?” Rhodey asks.

Carol looks to Maria, then Sam. 

“The coffee is right behind you every morning,” Sam says. “We see your wife in the background of our meetings all the time.”

“What?” Carol had no idea. “And no one told me?”

“How did you not notice?”

“I thought you knew,” Maria says.

Carol grimaces, but then laughs. “Well the show’s over now. Also everyone is in trouble. Even Hope and Peter didn’t tell me? The betrayal.”

“Well Hope is a little busy today, so leave her alone,” Rhodey says.

“And Peter will never leave any of _us_ alone if he finds out you’re mad at him. Please don’t call him just yet,” Sam begs.

“You want to dance?” Dinner is wrapping up and the band’s been doing slow songs. They’ve both been staring at everyone dancing for a little while.

Maria spins to face Carol, a little surprised. “Uh, sure, yes. I’d love to.”

Carol holds Maria’s hand again, and when they get to the dance floor, Maria leans in. “Let me know if this is OK,” she whispers. She slowly presses herself into Carol, giving her time to move back if she wants, and slides her arms around her neck. “Is this OK?”

Carol doesn’t say anything, doesn’t move back, just nods while keeping her eyes locked on Maria. She puts her hands on Maria’s hips. Well, more like her stomach.

“Lower,” Maria whispers. Carol hesitates. “You can put your hands lower, if you want.”

Carol slides her hands to Maria’s hips.

“You look … really good, Carol.”

“You too.”

They stay close, silently dancing to the next four songs. But then it’s time for toasts and cake, and they head back to their table. Maria’s not sure, but she thinks she hears Carol curse quietly under her breath as they sit down.

Hope and Scott are making the rounds as the evening starts drawing to a close, and they finally get to Maria and Carol to say hello. Scott asks for advice since they are one of the longest married couples there.

“You’re already doing better than me, so I don’t think you need my advice. It took me at least four years to even kiss Maria, and about a million to propose.”

“Excuse you. I kissed you first.”

“It was so long ago. Who can even remember at this point?” Carol grins at Maria.

“I remember. And I know you do, too. It was me.”

“We’ll have to agree to disagree.” Carol turns back to Hope and Scott. “Congratulations.”

“It was a beautiful wedding. Thanks for inviting us.”

“Are you kidding?” Hope says. “We couldn’t wait to meet the boss’s wife.”

“She talks about you all the time,” Scott says. “And the pictures she has on her desk in the office?”

Carol is turning redder than her Captain Marvel uniform, Maria thinks.

“They’re so cute,” Hope says. “Oh no, we’re embarrassing Cap.”

“Don’t you two,” Carol says weakly, “have other guests to pester?”

“Right,” Scott says, as they both hug Carol and Maria. “We’ll go.”

“Party’s wrapping up. Wanna get out of here?” Carol asks when they’re alone.

They’re both a little quiet on the walk back to the hotel, but they’re holding hands, so they’re both a little hopeful too. 

They grab some vending machine snacks and drinks before going back into their room.

First, they straighten up a little of the mess they made in the room this morning, having only had time after arriving in San Francisco to quickly change and head to the wedding.

Then, they sit on the bed eating their haul for a little bit in their dress clothes. They recap the wedding, which they both agree was very nice. Their favorite part was Luis’ Best Man toast, which was incredibly detailed and long, but sweet and full of love for his friend.

“I’ve gotta get out of this dress,” Maria says after awhile, standing up and fidgeting with her yellow dress.

“Need me to unzip it?” Carol stands behind Maria.

“Uh, yeah,” Maria says, nervous at Carol’s closeness. “Please.”

Carol brings both hands to the back of Maria’s neck, and takes her time finding the zipper. She slowly unzips the dress, going the whole way down, rather than just getting it started at the top like she normally would.

“Is this OK?” Carol asks in a low voice as she slips both hands around Maria’s waist and pulls her closer.

Maria nods and closes her eyes.

“So beautiful today,” Carol says, her breath warm against Maria’s neck. “You always are, but this dress … wow.”

“I just pulled it out of … the back of the closet.”

Carol presses her lips to the back of Maria’s neck. It’s the lightest and briefest of kisses.

But it happens.

“Carol,” Maria says, doing her best to keep it from sounding like a whine.

They stand for a little while like that, with Carol simply holding Maria. She doesn’t move her hands, doesn’t kiss her again, just holds her.

Maria takes Carol’s left hand and kisses the back of it. “Why don’t we sit on the bed and watch a movie?”

She can tell that Carol’s hesitating, that she still isn't ready, and she’s giving her a way to put the brakes on this, if she wants to, without having to pull away herself.

Fuck, Carol loves her.

“Yeah, OK. Let’s do that.”

They both fall asleep sitting up on the bed, still in their dress clothes, a pile of discarded food wrappers between them.

They’ve been back in Louisiana for a few days and Carol’s moving all her stuff back into Maria’s room … but only because they are expecting company.

“So, they just called this morning, said they would be here tonight to visit, and didn’t say why?” She dumps a pile of clothes onto a chair. 

“She said they were in the area for work and asked if they could stay here this weekend.”

“They work at a New York museum. What are they down here for?”

“That’s all she said.”

“Doesn’t this all seem … a little…” Carol makes a baby bump gesture with her hands. “Odd?”

“What are you trying to say?”

“That Monica’s … pregnant…”

“Carol…”

“I’m just saying. Everybody’s been back for a few months. I bet there are a lot of pregnancies being announced these days.”

“Let’s not get ahead of ourselves. Maybe engaged…”

“Nah, engaged you can do on FaceTime. First grandchild is a different story.” Carol leaves and goes back to the other room to get the final batch of her things.

“She would tell us on the phone,” she says when Carol returns. “I’m sure it’s just what she said it was.”

“Okaaay.”

Several hours later, Carol’s suspicions are confirmed.

“We’re going to have a baby!”

“I knew it!” Maria jumps out of her seat and hugs Monica. “My baby’s having a baby. Congratulations!” She kisses her cheeks.

“Excuse you,” Carol pokes Maria in the side. “I knew it!"

“Oh hush.”

Maria’s not letting go of Monica anytime soon, so Carol hugs Eugene. “Get all the sleep you can now.”

“I intend to,” he says, laughing.

“Let me in.” Carol pushes herself into their hug. “I’ve gotta hug Lieutenant and Sergeant Trouble.”

“You know, you could promote me one of these days.”

“No, we always outrank you.” She kisses Monica’s forehead. “Congratulations, sweetheart.”

“Now,” Monica says once everyone is sitting back in their own seats. “We’re living together and we love each other and we’re raising this baby, but we are not talking marriage yet.”

“I swear,” Eugene says. “I will always be there for this baby, no matter what.” He looks at Carol. “And that would be true even if there was no threat of the baby’s grandmother sending the Avengers after me.”

“Oh I would never do that,” Carol says, completely serious.

“She would take care of you herself,” Monica finishes.

“Exactly. But I know I will never have to do that.”

“Exactly.” Eugene agrees.

“Baby,” Maria says. “We support you no matter what.”

* * *

** September **

The Avengers don’t have tons of large in person meetings—there’s no need since most can be done via video—but they’re having a bit of a large meeting one Thursday afternoon in September. They’ve been exchanging some technology and personnel with Asgard, so a few representatives are in from there, as well as Thor and Rocket, and Okoye. It’s a meeting that’s been on the calendar for a long time.

The meeting’s almost over when Carol’s assistant Helen walks back in with a few things Carol had asked her to get.

“And also your wife is here,” Helen says. Carol looks up, unsure she heard her correctly. 

“Oooo.” A few at the table start to tease her, but Carol waves a hand, and shifts her eyes to the papers in front of her.

“Calm down. Pre-planned,” Carol lies.

“I don’t want any drama,” Valkyrie says, quietly, after the meeting wraps up and everyone starts to file out.

“There’s no drama,” Carol replies.

“Let me know the next time you have a poker night. I could use the extra cash.”

Carol’s the last to leave, hoping she can be the only one outside the room with Maria. She waits until she’s seen everyone pass her by to walk into the hallway.

“Hey you,” Carol says, grabbing Maria’s hand. “To what do I owe this surprise?”

“I can’t pick my wife up from work?”

“Well it’s a little far to commute, but of course you can. You could’ve waited in my office though.”

“I was fine out here.”

Carol starts to say something, but stops herself and changes track. “So you had a flight nearby?"

“Yeah, about a half hour away? The plane needed some routine maintenance, so it’ll get sent back tomorrow.”

“Simple enough,” Carol says. “So how are we getting home?”

“Well you could fly us both.”

“Which you are not a fan of.”

“Or … you said you have that new plane you’ve wanted to take for a few test flights. You still have to do that, right?”

“Yeah … I do.”

“Now you have a very experienced co-pilot. And you made sure I have all the clearance in case I ever needed to fly a plane for you guys. … We’ve been talking about flying together for a few months. … I thought we’d finally just do it.”

“Alright,” Carol says, still not saying what she wants to say. “I’ll go fill out the paperwork.”

“So … now that we’re home and we’re not flying and it’s just us…” Carol makes a sort of “spill it” gesture at Maria.

“You want to talk about the plane?”

“Maria, come on. Your whole story today?”

Maria just looks at her.

“We don’t lie to each other. I told you she would be there, and also it was on our shared calendar for weeks.” Carol sits down at the kitchen table. “If you say to me now that you really just happened to have a flight nearby, and the whole thing was a coincidence, I’ll believe you and I’ll drop it.”

Maria shakes her head. “I did have a flight nearby. But it wasn’t a coincidence. I made it happen.”

“I’ve told you nothing’s going on with her. Nothing’s been going on for a long time. Do you not trust me?” Carol’s not mad, just confused. “Not believe me?”

“No. No. I trust you. I believe you.”

“Then what was today all about?”

Maria’s quiet again.

“Maria?”

“I don’t know. I was jealous. I am jealous. I wanted to see her.”

“I thought you didn’t care about who I was with.”

“I care. Of course I care.”

“Then why did you always say you didn’t?”

“What?”

“Your literal words once were, ‘Carol, stop. I don’t care about them.’”

“I didn’t mean it like that.”

“How was I supposed to know?” If Carol’s being honest, she’s a little mad now.

“What difference does it make?”

“I keep thinking that I’m making too big a deal about it all. If you don’t care, why do I care so much? Why can’t I move on?” Carol runs her hands over her face. “But you flew across the country because you’re jealous. Why did you keep saying you didn’t care if you did care?”

“I thought it would make you feel worse.”

Carol sighs. “Maria, we’re not 25 anymore. We’ve been together for a long time. We shouldn’t go months not being honest about our feelings.”

“You’re right. I’m sorry.”

Maria sits down. It’s quiet for a long time.

“I hate her.”

Carol tries to hold back a smile, but is unsuccessful.

“I know it’s not rational. But still, I hate her a little bit.”

“I think that all sounds very understandable and totally fine. … But we have to talk about our feelings.”

“I’m not mad at you.”

“I know that … but I need to know you forgive me.”

“Of course I forgive you.”

“Of course? You never said.”

“What?”

“And you don’t even let me apologize.”

“Oh God, Carol.” Maria puts her head in her hands. “I didn’t want to make you feel worse.”

“Hey, hey, it’s all right.” Carol takes one of Maria’s hands and kisses it. “Will you come with me … to the therapist? She’s told me she can do couple’s sessions, if we want.”

“Yes.”

* * *

** October **

“You’re up early. … Wait. Carol, did you go to sleep last night?”

Carol looks up from the dining room table at Maria, who has just entered in her bathrobe, then out the window. She looks back at the papers and devices spread out across the table in front of her.

“Uhhh… I guess not.” She leans back in her chair. “What time is it?”

“Oh honey, it’s 7.” Maria crosses the room and puts both hands on Carol’s shoulders. It’s only after she does it that she remembers this is a thing they don’t really do anymore, but Carol doesn’t pull away, so she starts a gentle massage. 

Carol closes her eyes and hums appreciatively.

“You know you can’t solve all the problems in the universe in one night, right?”

“I can try.”

“Or without sleeping?”

“Yeah, good point.”

Maria places a quick kiss on the top of Carol’s head. “Something new?”

“No.” Things had been relatively quiet, save a few small emergencies here and there, and that’s been stressing Carol out. She insists it’s only a matter of time before something big happens and has been worried about being caught by surprise.

“So what’s keeping you awake?”

Carol tilts her head up and opens her eyes to look at Maria. “I want to keep everyone safe … but I really want to keep the baby safe.”

“You’re doing the best you can. But you need to sleep.” Maria brushes the hair out of Carol’s eyes. “And you could probably use a haircut, too.”

“You said you’d do it for me on Saturday and then you fell asleep.”

“Oh so it’s my fault now?”

“Yep.”

Maria brushes the hair back into Carol’s eyes and they both laugh.

“It’s almost Trouble Time, right?”

“We have a few minutes before she calls if you want to get cleaned up. I’ll make some coffee.”

“Okay. Thanks for taking care of me.”

“Always.”

When Carol returns, a backwards Red Sox hat hiding the hair she couldn’t get under control, Monica and Eugene are already on the other end of the computer that Maria’s somehow managed to find a spot for on the table. Carol slides into her seat, putting an arm around the back of Maria’s chair and squeezing her shoulder. Monica lights up at the gesture, but quickly hides it and doesn’t comment.

“Alright, let’s see this baby,” Carol almost squeals.

Monica shares a sonogram to the screen.

“My baby’s baby,” Maria says, immediately crying, and pointing to the clear image of the baby on the screen. Carol hands her a tissue that she had ready.

“There she is,” Monica says.

“Wait,” Carol says. “She?”

“I thought you didn’t want to know!”

“We wanted to surprise you!”

“We’d be happy no matter what. But I kinda did think she’d be a girl. The world could use another strong Rambeau woman. No offense, Eugene. But look at these two!” She kisses Maria’s temple.

Eugene laughs and kisses Monica’s temple. “None taken and I agree.”

In the end, there’s no big dramatic gesture that gets Carol and Maria fully back together. Just quiet, calm persistence and devotion.

“Need a favor,” Carol says one night as they’re doing the dishes.

“Yeah?” Maria doesn’t look up from the sink.

“Forgot to put fresh sheets on the bed.”

Maria shuts the faucet off, and turns to look at Carol, who is grinning.

“Can I bunk with you?”

Maria smiles back. “You’re sure?”

“Really sure. One thousand percent.”

They sleep next to each other that night, not touching, but still quite close. Carol never spends another night alone in the other room.

* * *

** November **

After an Avengers video conference that lasts all morning, Carol has the rest of the day free, so they decide to try to binge watch another of Monica’s TV suggestions. Carol, and the Avengers, have a very important meeting the next day, so she wants to spend as much time before it as she can relaxing.

“Maria, wake up. Wake up,” Carol finds herself saying four hours later.

Muscle memory must’ve taken over for both of them when they fell asleep, because Carol is sprawled out across the couch with Maria almost fully on top of her.

When Maria wakes, she sees what’s happened and they lock eyes. “Oh, honey, I’m sorry. I’m sorry.” She starts to move, but Carol gently holds her in place.

“No, no. You’re fine. This is nice. I—” She hesitates. “Can I kiss you?”

“Yes, please,” Maria says and Carol crashes into her lips. They’ve shared a lot of kisses, but none as fierce as this one, Maria thinks. It’s only been a few months for her, but the way Carol kisses her makes her feel like it’s been five years as well.

Carol pulls back, and then leans in again for a soft and gentle kiss. 

“Not that I’m complaining,” Maria says. “But did you wake me up just to make out with me?”

“No.”

“Oh.”

“No, no. I definitely wanted to kiss you. _Want_ to kiss you. But, I have to pee. That’s why I woke you up, but then you looked … you looked at me, and … But, yeah, I’m about to pee my pants.”

“Oh no,” Maria says, scrambling up and off of Carol.

“Don’t go anywhere. I will be right back.” Carol jumps up and hurries to the bathroom.

She’s back in world record time and sits next to Maria on the couch. “Sorry, I had like four cups of coffee to try to stay awake, and they clearly did not work,” she says, laughing nervously. “What I was trying to say was … I woke up with you on my chest, and then you looked at me and … I felt like I was home.”

“Can I kiss you?” Maria asks.

“Yes. Absolutely. Please.”

“Thank you.”

After awhile, Carol rests her forehead against Maria’s. “I love kissing you.”

“Then get back to it.”

Carol smirks. “Yes, ma’am.”

Maria opens her eyes the next morning and Carol is very close, watching her. They spent most of the prior evening making out on the couch—once they started kissing again, they found it was really hard to stop—and then fell asleep in their bed holding hands.

“Good morning,” Carol says the second she sees Maria’s eyes open. “Can I kiss you, please?”

Maria laughs. “If you don’t mind my morning breath, then sure.”

Carol leans in and kisses her deeply. 

“And I thought we covered this last night. You don’t have to keep asking me for permission.”

“That was last night … and in the living room.”

They kiss again.

“OK, then … I declare you can kiss me whenever and wherever from now on.”

Carol raises an eyebrow and smirks. “Wherever? I like that.” She kisses Maria on the cheek and then drifts lower to her neck, the first time either have started to explore each other again.

“Yeah, I … I like this, too,” Maria says.

Carol’s phone buzzes. She groans, checks it quickly, and then goes back to Maria’s neck.

“What time do you have to leave?”

“They’re going to be here in five minutes to pick me up.”

“Carol.” Maria tries to gently push Carol off of her. “You have to get ready. You can’t—”

Carol silences Maria with a kiss on the lips. “I’ll meet them there. I can fly faster than the plane anyway.”

“I’m not letting you be late to a meeting with the president.” Maria’s insistence would be a little more convincing if she wasn’t leaning in for another long kiss

“I’ll explain to her that I couldn’t possibly stop kissing my wife this morning. She seems cool. She’ll understand.” She kisses her way down to Maria’s collarbone.

“Carol.”

Carol starts laughing. “Sweetie, I’m already showered and ready to go.”

Maria looks at her, and Carol is indeed in her full Captain Marvel attire. “I didn’t even notice.”

“I’m that good, huh?”

“Eh.”

Carol kisses her again. “Maria, I have to go meet the president. Stop trying to make me late.” Maria swings a pillow and Carol has to duck out of the way. “Hey, hey, not my hair.”

“I love you,” Maria says.

“The feeling is very, very mutual.”

Carol picks up her phone and snaps a quick selfie of the two of them as she kisses Maria’s temple. “I think we should send that to Monica?”

“Please do.”

Carol sends the message and leaves the phone on the bed when she goes into the bathroom to brush her teeth. It buzzes in reply a minute later. Carol pops her head back into the room, her mouth full of toothpaste. “What’d she say?”

Maria picks up Carol’s phone. “One word. Dorks.”

They both laugh. The phone buzzes again.

“And then ten heart eyes emojis.”

Carol’s finished brushing her teeth and there’s a light hum in the room as one of the new Avengers planes lands outside. “I’m sorry I have to leave now.”

“Don’t be. I’ve got a flight in a few hours anyway.”

“With the movie star!”

“You think it’s a movie star.”

“Because it’s a movie star.” Carol kisses Maria’s palms. “I’m gonna kiss you so hard when I get back.” 

“You better.”

That evening, the plane is still on the lawn as Maria and Carol make out on the front porch. Carol knows she’s going to be teased mercilessly about it for the next several weeks, but she doesn’t care. 

“How was the meeting?”

“Good. I’ll fill you in later,” Carol says in between kisses. “And you can tell me about the movie star.”

“It wasn’t a movie star.”

“Whatever.” _Really, why is the plane still there?_ Carol wonders, but then she’s kissing Maria again, and who cares… 

More kissing.

“Can we go to bed, please?” Carol asks.

“Tired?”

“Not even a little bit.”

“Carol,” Sam’s voice, getting closer. He’s running towards them as he shouts. “Sorry to interrupt.”

“Hold that thought,” Carol whispers and turns to face Sam. “It’s not polite to stare.”

“And we’re sorry. But while we were staring, something came up on the radar. A lot of somethings.”

“Which way do I need to go?”

“Northeast,” Sam says, turning around and running back to the plane. “We’re right behind you."

Carol turns back around. “Hold that thought.”

“Go on,” Maria says. “I’m not going anywhere.”

“I know."

Carol kisses Maria and takes off.


	4. Chapter 4

**November**

Maria pushes herself up on her elbow, and reaches with her other hand at the chain Carol is now wearing around her neck again. She kisses her dog tag, then Carol’s wedding ring, back where they belong. 

“You wearing just this is the hottest thing in the whole universe.”

“I dunno.” Carol scans her eyes down Maria’s body. “The view from here is pretty damn good.”

“And the short hair? Fuck, babe.”

“Kinda miss it long. Was thinking of letting it grow out.”

“Whatever you want is good with me, but I vote for keeping it short.” Maria moves on top of Carol and nuzzles into her hair. “For at least a few more months.”

“I think …” Carol pauses when Maria starts drifting lower with her kisses. “I can manage that.”

It’s been a few days since they were so rudely interrupted on the porch and Carol had to leave to fight off what ended up being a small alien invasion outside a high school in New Jersey. Nothing major—a rogue band of “idiots” as Carol called them, who thought they would make a show of things on Earth. Carol had easily dispatched with most of them before the rest of the Avengers even got there. 

The problem after that was the paperwork. The worst part of the alien invasion for Carol was the paperwork.

So it was a little while before she could make it home, but when she did this morning—Maria was there to _welcome_ her home. First with their rings, and then…

“Sweetie, I fought off aliens and was fine, but you are wearing me out.”

“Wanna take a break?” Maria kisses her way down to Carol’s chest.

“Definitely not …” Carol’s communicator beeps a few times and Maria stops. “No, no, it’s just the off-topic group chat. Please don’t stop.” Maria resumes as Carol hits a few buttons on her device. “Still have to keep that thing on … but that thread … is muted now.” She tosses it back on the nightstand. 

“You’d think I’m married to the leader of the Avengers or something,” Maria mumbles against Carol’s skin, as she shifts further down.

“Co-leader.”

“What was that all about?”

“Didn’t even look. … Someone … probably found a good taco … or something. They love tacos.”

“Now I … want tacos.”

“I’ll make you some later,” Carol says, gently flipping them over. “Got some stuff I wanna do first.”

Carol’s sitting on the edge of the bed, a plate of tacos in her hands, facing Maria when she walks out of their bathroom. “I told you. To stay in bed!”

She holds up the hand-written note she’d left on her pillow while Maria slept: “Quick meeting. I’ll make us tacos. Stay in bed!! Love you!!”

“I had to pee.”

Maria takes the plate and puts it down on the bed. She stands between Carol’s legs and wraps her wife’s arms around her waist.

“Fine, I’ll allow it.”

Carol tilts her head up and Maria leans down for a very long, lazy kiss. It’s not the desperate kisses of the past few days. It’s so much closer to the way things used to be.

“To be continued,” Carol says when they finally take a breath. “We should probably eat now. I’m starving. And we have our session soon.”

“Do we still need that?” Maria laughs and ruffles Carol’s hair.

Carol knows it’s a joke, but she’s earnest when she replies. “I think we need it now more than ever.”

“I know, honey. I agree.”

Carol pulls Maria closer and leans her head against her stomach. “I missed you.” These past few months. Those five years.

“I know. I missed you, too. I’m here.”

Natasha had left a detailed will indicating that she didn’t want a funeral. None of the Avengers were happy about it, but they respected her wishes and didn’t give her one.

They did, however, intend to dedicate one of the new buildings at the compound in her honor. It took awhile to rebuild, pick which building, and plan it, but by November everything was in place for the dedication ceremony.

Unlike Tony’s funeral, Maria goes with Carol this time. Carol doesn’t speak much at it, only a short speech to start things, but she had stressed over what to say for weeks. She does well, and all of the speeches that day are quite emotional. Carol holds Maria’s hand the entire time.

“So this sucks,” Rhodey says, sitting next to Carol. 

She’s sitting on a bench waiting for Maria to return from the bathroom before they head home.

“She should be here,” Carol says.

“Yeah, she should.”

“I’ve thought about it, you know. A lot.”

“Me too.”

“If we could bring everyone back, why not her? Could we find a way? Why not both of them?”

Rhodey shakes his head. “But we can’t. Too risky.”

“And they wouldn’t want us to try.”

“No, they wouldn’t.”

They’re quiet for a moment before Rhodey says, “She would’ve hated today.”

“So much.”

They both laugh.

“Danvers,” a voice behind them says, “are you just never going to talk to me again?”

Carol doesn’t turn around. “That’s the plan.”

Fury stands in front of them. “Give us a minute,” he says to Rhodey—but Rhodey’s aware of Carol’s issues with Fury and doesn’t move.

Carol looks at Rhodey and says, “It’s fine. I’m fine. Give us a minute, please.”

“You’re a hard woman to get a hold of,” Fury says, after Rhodey leaves.

“Not for people I actually want to talk to. Look, you’re here because Nat liked you, but that’s it. This isn’t an invitation to come into the team, and it’s certainly not an invitation to be friends.”

“Hey … I paged you.”

“Certainly in enough time to help. Just like the first time. And yeah, I would’ve never come back to Earth to check on _my daughter_ without that page. You remember her, right? Lives in New York, you almost got her killed along with countless others awhile back?”

“Hey,” Maria says, taking Carol’s hand and standing by her side, “everything all right?”

Carol squeezes her hand. “We’re done here. Let’s go home.”

“Danvers—”

“We’re done.”

“Is Carol OK?”

It’s a week later, and Maria’s in their room packing, so she puts the phone on speaker when Monica calls, early on Tuesday morning. She and Carol are getting ready to go back up to New York to meet Monica and Eugene for Thanksgiving at Eugene’s parents’ house.

“What? Why wouldn’t she be?”

“Don’t panic your mom,” Carol says, moving quickly into the room. “Everything’s fine.”

“Is someone gonna fill me in?”

“My parents died,” Carol says, as if she’s updating Maria on the weather. “That’s what you’re calling about, right Monica?”

“Yeah, are you OK?”

“Both of them? When? Just now?”

Carol shakes her head. “My father died a long time ago. My mother … last year.” She hands her phone to Maria. “Look. The Boston Globe did a feature on me. You know how they asked to interview me a few weeks ago, and I declined? I thought it was supposed to be a few weeks away, but after New Jersey, I guess they wanted to run it early. The press people just sent it to me. ”

“Carol, are you OK?”

When she was in college, Monica had looked up info on Carol’s mother and father and shared it with them. Carol had asked her not to do this, but she did it anyway, and it caused a bit of a family fight. They’d never looked into it again.

Carol forces a laugh. “I’m fine, Trouble. It’s not like I knew them.”

“Carol,” Maria says, taking her hand, “come on. This isn’t nothing.”

“I know it’s not nothing. But they didn’t give a shit about me, about us.”

“They’re still your parents. Your mom… she was alive during the—”

“Yeah, I realized that. … She didn’t know I returned, but she knew about you guys and never tried to contact you. Monica’s her granddaughter.” She puts her hands up. “I’ll talk about it with the doc. I will do that. I promise. OK?”

“Carol—”

“I love you both.” Carol kisses Maria’s hand. “And thank you for checking on me. But that’s all you’re gonna get out of me on this right now.”

Maria relents. “OK.”

“Monica?”

Both Carol and Maria are really hoping that Monica lets it go, since Carol is starting to get a little agitated. Monica could be very stubborn, even more so than they are, at times.

“Alright,” Monica says, slowly, after a long pause.

Carol squeezes Maria’s hand as they both breathe a sigh of relief.

“How was the rest of the article?” Maria asks, in an attempt to break the tension.

“I’ve only skimmed it and read the highlights I got sent. But they found my camp boyfriend from Canada! I told you he was real!”

“He says he was your first kiss,” Monica says. “And then there’s a girl in the next paragraph who says she was your first kiss!”

“And neither were,” Carol says, laughing. “I’d kissed another girl and boy before that.” She takes the phone back and scrolls to the bottom of the article. “They also found this picture of me at some first grade birthday party.” She holds it so Maria can see.

“Look at that smirk!”

“Some things never change,” Monica says.

“You know they call us grandma and grandpa behind our backs, right?” 

Carol and T’Challa are wrapping up their weekly one-on-one video meeting.

“Carol, they say it behind your back because they are afraid of you, but they say it to my face.”

Carol laughs. “Well, it’s fine for me. I’m actually about to _be_ a grandma. But you’re a young guy.”

“I think we are both old souls.”

“No one’s ever called me that before.” Carol takes a sip of her coffee. It’s been a bit of a long week, but she always enjoys talking with T’Challa. They haven’t worked together long, but they seem to balance each other out.

“So … I know I’m gonna take a little time when the baby is born, but I could use like a week’s vacation sometime before that. I mean, as on vacation as we can be. I’ll be on call, but I just need a break from the meet—”

“No problem, Carol. Take however long you need.”

“You sure?”

“And, after you’re back from your time with the baby, I can take a vacation?”

“Deal.” She raises her coffee mug to him and takes another sip. “Thanks.”

“Of course. Will you be vacationing with your wife? Where are you going?”

“Yes and I don’t know,” Carol says, smiling. “Maria won’t say. To be honest, I kinda just want to stay in the house, but I’m excited to see what she has planned.”

“I know we don’t know each other that well … yet. But it’s nice to see you happy.”

“Thanks.” Carol pauses. There’s something she’s wanted to say to T’Challa for awhile, and she’s decided to finally do it. “I know that you heard some stuff that night my daughter kept setting off the alarms at my house. I just wanted to say thanks for keeping it quiet. I looked for the recording later that day and it was gone.”

“Technology can be fickle. Probably a bug.”

Shuri designed it all. There was definitely no bug. “Must’ve been a bug.”

“You are … doing well now?”

“I’m getting there,” Carol says. “We’re getting there."

* * *

**December**

“Vacation Carol has been activated,” Carol says, shutting the back door behind her as she enters the kitchen. She puts her phone and her wrist communicator down on the counter and picks Maria up. “Where we going?”

“Put me down!”

“Nope.” Carol shifts Maria a little higher in her arms. They’re both laughing. “Where we going?”

“Well this weekend we have the holiday party. If you still don’t mind going?”

“Are you kidding? I can’t wait to meet your coworkers, and I found us those ugly sweaters!”

“We can bail on it.”

“You can stay home if you want, but then I’m going without you.”

Maria rolls her eyes. “Fine. We’ll go.”

“Yes!” Carol spins them around. “So where we going before that?”

“Five days, six nights, all expenses paid trip.” Maria leans down and kisses Carol. “To our bedroom.”

“Oh yes.” Carol puts Maria down on the counter so she can kiss her a little easier. “My favorite vacation spot.”

“Maybe a few day trips to the shower.”

“We never go there.” Carol takes off her jacket and kisses Maria again. “How about we start the vacation here?”

“I’d love to, but your phone is lighting up a lot.”

“It’s just the off-topic chat. Those are in emergency only mode. And I was very clear about what’s an emergency.” More kissing.

“Honey, it’s distracting. What do they want?”

Carol flips the phone facedown and sighs. “They found out we’re gonna be up in New York for Christmas and they want us to come to their holiday party. I told them no.”

Maria pulls back when Carol tries to kiss her again. “What? Why?”

“Oh … that’s time for family.”

“We’re going to my work Christmas party.”

“That’s different.”

“How?”

“It just is. … Can we go back to vacation?”

She kisses Maria, who pulls back a second later.

“In a minute. Can I see your phone, please?”

Carol hands it over without hesitation. Maria scrolls through the messages.

“Honey, you’ve talked to them every day for months.” Maria holds up the phone to Carol. “They’ve sent like 30 messages asking you to this party. You’ve had dinners with them, been to a wedding … They’re your friends and you should see your friends at the holidays.”

“But Monica…”

“We’re going to spend a week with Monica. We can go a few hours away for a party one night.” She puts her left hand on Carol’s cheek. Things were so much better between them, but they both knew Carol was still struggling through a lot of emotions. “Please don’t keep punishing yourself for not being miserable the entire time we were gone. We don’t want you to. … Do you want to go?”

Carol hesitates … but then she nods.

“Then we’ll go.”

Carol turns her head slightly to kiss Maria’s hand, then leans in so Maria can hold her close. “Thanks.”

“I love you,” Maria says after a few minutes, pressing a kiss to the top of Carol’s hair.

“I know. Love you, too.” Carol pulls back, her mood now much improved. “Hey … you know what I just realized? This is right where I proposed. Just I was there.” She points to Maria and then points to herself. “And you were here. Right around this time, too.”

“Took you long enough. I still can’t believe you carried that thing around for weeks. And while I was in the middle of cleaning—”

“I know. I know.” Carol silences her with a kiss. “Let’s get back to vacation.”

“Are you good?”

“I’m good. I am. I promise.”

Maria’s work Christmas party doesn’t exactly go as she had wanted it to. She’d never even confirmed she was going, but clearly everyone hoped she did, and brought Carol, because there were a lot more people there, and everyone seemed to have brought their kids, too.

Carol patiently took pictures with anyone who asked, cracked jokes with Maria’s friends, and even stopped Maria from telling a guy off when they overheard him complain Carol wasn’t wearing her Captain Marvel suit.

Carol seemed fine at the party, but on the way home, she’s quiet. After ten minutes in silence, Maria pulls the car over.

“What are you doing? Is the car OK?”

“The car’s fine. Are you OK?”

“Me?”

“Carol, you haven’t said anything the whole ride. I’m sorry that you had to take all those photos. I didn’t think. I should’ve stopped them.”

“No, no. You’re good. I don’t mind. It’s fine.”

“Then what is it?”

Carol shakes her head and looks out the window. “They shouldn’t want to take photos with me.”

Maria puts a hand over Carol’s. “After what they saw in New Jersey, and what they read about from New York, I can see how they’d want to.”

The New York Times had recently published a long oral history of the battle at Avengers Compound. Carol didn’t participate, but several Avengers did anonymously, and Carol’s arrival was credited by them as one of the tide-turning events. 

She turns back and looks at Maria. “Everyone can say whatever they want about New York, but I had him. And then I didn’t.”

“But Dr. Stra—”

“I know what he said. But I also know what I can do. … That little girl lost her dad.” She sighs. “And Christmas makes me think of Nat. … Sometimes I think I’m okay and then I’m not.”

“Oh, Carol.” They’d talked about this a lot, and Carol had been getting better, but sometimes she had bad days. “It’s okay to not be okay.”

“I know.”

When they get home, Carol has the roughest night of sleep she’s had in weeks, but this time Maria is there to hold her.

They both sleep in and have a late breakfast, and Carol’s in better spirits the next afternoon when Monica texts them an article titled: “Captain Marvel went to her wife’s ugly sweater work Christmas party, and it’s the cutest thing we’ve seen all year.”

It’s a collection of social media photos and posts from many people at the party, freaking out over meeting Captain Marvel.

“Look at how good you look, even in an ugly sweater,” Carol says at the header image on the article. Carol has her arm around Maria’s shoulders and they’re both laughing while talking with one of Maria’s regular co-pilots. “We should get this one framed."

“Look at those wrinkles.” Maria could get a little self conscious, especially when she saw photos of them in public. Her time in space had made her age a little slower, but she was still aging and Carol wasn’t.

“Shhh.” Carol kisses her forehead. “I love those wrinkles.”

“I can’t believe you got to meet Spider-Man,” Eugene says, again, to Maria. It’s Christmas Eve and they’ve just finished opening presents. Maria’s been filling everyone in on the Avengers Christmas party, which took place the day before. “He’s my favorite Avenger.”

Carol’s just reentered the room with a pot of coffee. “Well, none for you,” she says, turning away from Eugene.

“Captain Marvel’s my favorite,” his father, Hugh, says. 

Carol smiles and pours him a cup.

“I meant,” Eugene stammers, “I mean, I don’t really think of you as an Avenger.”

Maria shakes her head. “You’re making it worse,” she whispers.

“It’s just … he can shoot webs!!”

“Do you … do you want me to remind you of what I can do?” Carol raises a fist in the direction of the Christmas tree.

“No one is reminding anyone of anything,” Monica says, putting a hand on Carol’s shoulder while everyone but Eugene laughs. “Spider-Man’s cool! Even you’ve said so!”

“Hmm,” Carol says, “was Spider-Man there that night…”

“I lost my tooth and bled all over your Guns & Roses shirt,” Monica finishes, knowing Carol’s story by heart. “Fine, you’re first. We’re sorry.”

“That’s my girl.” Carol raises an eyebrow at Eugene … and pours him a cup.

“I’m sorry,” he says. “You are, of course, my favorite Avenger.”

Carol sits down on the couch, next to Maria, and makes an _I’m watching you_ gesture at Eugene. Maria swats her arm and they both laugh.

Eugene hides his face.

“OK, we still have a few final presents to give you,” Monica says.

“More presents?” Hugh asks. “You didn’t have to.”

“You’ve already given us too much,” Maria says, gesturing to the pile of boxes in front of her and Carol.

“Says the woman who gave us so many baby gifts we might have to find a new apartment,” Monica replies.

“Well you wouldn’t let me throw you a baby shower…” Just as Maria had all those years ago, Monica had refused a baby shower as well. (Grandma Maria no longer agreed with Mom Maria’s decision.) Carol had had to transport _a lot_ of packages to New York.

“I for one,” Carol says, “want this present. How about you, Jennifer?”

Eugene’s mother nods in agreement. “I never turn down gifts.”

Monica and Eugene each hand their parents an envelope. Jennifer and Hugh go first. It’s a trip to Hawaii for their anniversary in June.

Maria opens their envelope.

“Oh shit,” Carol says, realizing a second before Maria just what the present is. She immediately puts both hands to her face and cries.

“Monica,” Maria says, “oh my God.”

It’s a trip to San Diego for Valentine’s Day.

Before the crash, Carol had rented a beach house in San Diego for the three of them to spend Valentine’s Day in, but they never made it. She’d talked to Monica, a lot, about wanting to try it again after she returned, but pulling it off had never quite worked.

“I know it’s, you know, probably not the same house,” Monica says, “but we worked so hard to find a yellow house on the beach.”

“Baby, this is so thoughtful.” Maria puts her arm around Carol, who is still crying, and pulls her closer. “Thank you so much.”

“You’re a pretty good gift-giver,” Carol manages to say.

“I had two good teachers.” Monica gets up and then sits next to them on the couch. “I didn’t mean to make you cry, Carol.”

“It’s just my allergies.” Carol wipes her eyes with her sleeves, and puts her hands in her lap. She takes a deep breath as Maria rubs her back. “Thank you, sweetheart. This … this means a lot.”

“It’s a little close to my due date, but the two of us are going to do our best to make sure you can still go on this trip. … And I already got the owner to pencil you in for next year … just in case.”

“Oh Monica,” Maria says, crying a little herself.

Monica hugs Maria and Carol, and then goes back to sit next to Eugene.

“And now,” Eugene says.

Monica finishes, “For the last surprise.”

“Oh,” Carol says, grabbing Maria’s hand and squeezing, “I don’t think I can take another one.”

They stand up. “We’re getting married!”

Everyone’s out of their seats. “You got engaged?” Jennifer asks.

“Yes,” Monica says, “But we mean we’re getting married … _right now_.”

“Right now???” More than one parent asks.

Eugene goes to the front door and opens it, letting a few of their friends in.

“Are you serious?” Carol asks.

Monica nods, grinning. “Surprise!!”

“I can’t believe you would spring a surprise wedding on us,” Maria says.

“Did you forget what happened on _your_ wedding day?”

“Lieutenant Trouble does make a very good point.” Maria’s shaking a little, so Carol wraps both arms around her and rests her chin on her wife’s shoulder. “A Christmas wedding. I like it.” She kisses Maria’s temple.

“I don’t even get promoted on my wedding day?”

“Not even on your wedding day.”

“Pretty sure the leader of the _Avengers_ ranks higher than _Captain_ at this point.”

Carol shrugs.

“Fine.” Monica rolls her eyes, then turns to Maria. “Are you good?”

“Yes, yes, of course. I’m just surprised, but so happy for you.”

Monica hugs them both. “Do you two want to help me get ready?”

“We’d love to,” Maria says.

They follow Monica down the hallway to her bedroom. 

“Pretty good Christmas.” Carol puts her arm around her shoulder.

“Yeah, it is."

* * *

**January**

“Do you miss space?”

It’s a warm night in January, so Maria and Carol had a picnic dinner outside in the backyard. Now, they’re lying on their backs looking at the stars.

“I dunno,” Carol says, stopping to consider it. “I guess I haven’t really thought about it. … Do you?”

“Sometimes.”

“We’ll go back, then.”

“No… that’s not what I meant. I’m really happy … here, now.”

“Me too.”

“Just something about the sky tonight. So clear. And the way we’re lying here….”

“Our tenth wedding anniversary?” Carol asks and Maria nods. “Yeah, I was thinking of that, too.”

“That was a good night."

“It was.”

Maria rolls over and curls herself into Carol, resting her head on her chest. “Best pillow ever.”

Both of their phones buzz a half hour later.

“It’s the Lieutenant.” Carol picks up her phone. 

“Yeah? What’d she say?”

“Maria,” Carol says, her voice a little shaky. “Baby’s coming.”

“What??”

Carol shows her the phone. 

“She’s not due for three weeks!” Maria says, her voice a little shaky, too. She sits up.

Another text. Carol sits up and reads it. “Now.”

They look at each other, tears in their eyes.

“Text her back!” Maria says.

“Okay, okay.” Carol’s hands are shaking. _We’re coming_ , she types. _Call us when you’re settled at the hospital._

Monica replies immediately. _We will. Please hurry!_

“We gotta go,” Carol says. “I’ll come back for our stuff after.”

Carol gives Maria a look.

“Oh no.”

“It’s the only way, sweetie.”

It wasn’t that Maria didn’t like flying. Or that she didn’t like being held by Carol. But Carol had accidentally flown them through a blizzard—a _space blizzard_ —a few years back and they’d put a stop to traveling that way.

“I’m pulling up the flight path now.” Carol touches a few buttons on her trembling wrist and shows the screen to Maria. “See. All clear. I will keep you so safe. Going to be cold when we land, though.”

They were supposed to fly up—in a plane—this weekend and spend the final weeks of the pregnancy with Monica and Eugene in New York.

But life, as always, had other plans.

Maria takes a deep breath. “I’ll get my coat.”

They stand up. Maria starts to walk to the back door, but Carol reaches for her hand. “Hey,” she whispers, pulling Maria close and resting their foreheads together. “We’re gonna be grandmas.”

Maria smiles and closes her eyes, taking the moment in. “We’re gonna be grandmas.”

Their phones buzz again. Another text from Monica. _Did you guys leave yet????_

Carol laughs. “Okay, we gotta go.”

They walk to the house.

“She’s three weeks early,” Maria says when they get to the porch, leveling a look at Carol. “I guess we know who she’s going to take after.”

“I know.” Carol opens the door and steps aside to let Maria in first. “Let’s just go and you can yell at me later.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thanks for reading! I hope you've enjoyed this, and all the other stories in this series.
> 
> I don't really have anything planned for the future, so if there's anything you want to see, please let me know. I wanted to make sure this one served as a good wrap up, should it be the last one.


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